Jealousy

15// Depression

Sierra's POV:

Sara: sierra. i need you here. come as soon as possible.

I begin to panic. "Uhm guys. I have to go, like right now. I'm sorry." I jump in my car and head over to the Middleton's. I don't knock on the door I just walk right in. "Oh hello Sierra." Jamie seems unsuprised by my appearance.

"Is Sara still in there?"

"Yes, is there something wrong?" I nod my head no and rush to the door. "Sara?! Sara are you in here?" I hear the door unlock and I barge in. "Sara!" I grab her into a hug. When we separate she quickly hurries to the door and locks it.

She looks terrible. I don't think she has showered at all this whole week or washed her face. She looks skinnier than normal. "Sara you look terrible." She stares at my straight faced, "Thanks." Usually should would laugh and make the 'thanks' sarcastic but there is no sarcasticness if her voice. "Sara what's wrong."

"Seriously?! You're asking me that question?! You know what's wrong. One of my best friends just died a week ago. Oh yep I'm fine. Totally fine!" She's yelling and now I can tell that she is being sarcastic and even mean. "Sara. You've lost weight. You look like hell. And you haven't come out of this room for a whole week! You need to talk to me. I'm here for you. I will always be here for you like you were when my grandma died. Stay strong."

"Sierra... I don't know if I can 'stay strong'. I feel like shit. This whole week there as been a sharp pain in my chest like someone is stabbing my heart over and over. I CAN'T stay stong. I've 'stayed strong' long enough. I've stayed strong from killing myself. I've stayed strong from taking his pocket knife to my arms. I don't want to do it anymore. I just want to be with him." She's sobbing now and leaning into my arms. "Sara, I'm so happy you've stayed strong. I'm so proud of you. That's exactly how I felt when my grandma died." She interrupts me, "but you weren't in love."

Whoa. In Love. That's some big words right there. She was in love with Trevor? She never told me that.

Am I in love with Nate?

"You were in love with Trevor? Why didn't you tell me...?"

"I wasn't sure. But...but this pain... Now I know that I did love him more than anyone." I hug her again and let her cry on my shoulder. "You'd probably feel this way if Nate died."

"I don't know if I'm in love though. I've never been in love so I don't know what it feels like."

"You would know so that means you're not."

"But I think I am. I mean yea I do love him. It's just weird to say 'in love'. Like I don't know if he's the person I will spend the rest of my life with." She makes an 'oh' face and hugs me. "Thank you Sierra. I'm not ready to leave though."

"Can you at least shower please? You smell terrible, also wash your face and brush your teeth."

"It won't help. I'll just get the smell of tears all of me again night over night. Day after day."

"You're taking a shower. I will be right back text me if you need anything."

"Ok. Don't let anyone else in here. I don't want to talk to anyone else." I give her one last hug before leaving.

Sara's POV:

Watching Sierra leave the room put another hole into my chest. I'm lonely all over again. I need her back.

Depression.

Am I depressed?

No...Yes?

Lonliness. Sadness. Miserable. Never hungry. Never sleeping. Isolation.Thoughts of suicide. All symptoms of depression and here I am feeling all of those.