Without The Thought of Him

one week and five days ago

2:34am.

Isaac has to look at his alarm clock twice to make sure he was reading it right. His eyes were strained and even burning a bit from staring at his phone all night but he definitely reads the time correctly.

"Fuck." he breathes out and ends up turning his entire body over so he was facing the opposite way, trying his best to get comfortable because he needed to fall asleep.

It seemed like the more he tried, the more restless and less tired he became.

Isaac couldn't tell if he was too hot or too cold, sticking a leg out of his blankets for a couple of minutes before tucking it back under. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to relax.

He's had sleep problems his entire life; it started when he was small and he cried out for hours about how he couldn't fall asleep without his mom laying by his side. He seriously had trouble sleeping without somebody next to him. Now he'd be up all night if someone was in the same room as him as he slept.

On top of having many other issues in his life, this was just another one and it really did cause him a lot of stress and undereye bags. Every other teenager in this world had no problem whatsoever with sleep. Why him?

He turns onto his other side after a few minutes of just laying there. There was no way he was going to sleep if he wasn't getting any tireder. So he reaches over for his phone on the bedside table, unplugging it from the charger so he didn't have to lay on his side uncomfortably.

He goes right onto Twitter, which was probably his favorite and most-used social media. He didn't care too much for Instagram-- and oh god Snapchat. Isaac wasn't one for bashing ideas or concepts but he really fucking hated Snapchat.

He turns the brightness of his phone down as soon as Twitter is loaded and ready for him to browse, not wanting to hurt his eyes too much. His main goal was to get somewhat sleepy from this, so he had to make sure his eyes were slightly affected.

He begins to scroll down so he would reach the top of his timeline, which ends up being a mistake.

As if he was in the mood to be heartbroken.

sam @samnelson7

Fuck I love him

Now, he knew it was just a tweet. A simple tweet that could mean a lot of different things.

But he also knew that it was his god-given profession to jump to conclusions. Isaac doesn't even jump, either. He fucking flies.

He swallows thickly, scrolling up a bit so the tweet was no longer displayed on his phone screen. He then looks up, staring up at the dark ceiling as he tries to take everything in.

Obviously he wasn't surprised about this, Sam had a boyfriend. He was in a relationship. He was taken. He was supposed to tweet sweet shit like that about the person he was dating.

This wasn't anything new, either. The boy would constantly tweet about Brady. And when he wasn't posting about how great and happy he was with the boy, he was posting shitty music Isaac couldn't even force himself to like if he tried.

There wasn't anything wrong about the fact that the boy was publicly sharing his love for his significant other. Nothing wrong at all besides the fact it deeply hurt Isaac and his poor beating heart.

Nobody knew about it though. Except Sandra, but she was such a pain to talk to sometimes. She was always either drunk or with her group of girl friends, there was no in between.

She had invited him many times to join her so he wouldn't be so alone all of the time, but of course he always denied. Maybe he should stop doing that and accept the free alcohol. He really fucking needed it after seeing this shit on Twitter.

Being dramatic about an online post was an understatement, but then again Isaac was in love with this stupid fucking kid.

He ends up sighing out heavily, brushing his tousled hair away from his face before he resumes his scrolling. He knew he couldn't let this affect his entire mood, but he knew that wasn't reality. There was still a dull aching in his gut and he knew it was because of that stupid ass tweet.

Of course Isaac avoids the tweet as much as possible but he knew he was going to have to see it again to scroll back up to the top. He does everything possible to keep his eyes away from the screen as soon as it was time for him to do so. Thankfully his timeline refreshes and he doesn't have to see that shit anymore.

That was until Sam decided to tweet again. This time, something even more painful than before. A fucking selfie of him and Brady.

Isaac clicks out of Twitter right after that, deciding it was the perfect time to watch some relaxing YouTube videos instead.

If it meant watching ASMR videos to get him to go to sleep and not get hurt anymore this late at night, he'd do whatever it takes.

Sometimes it was hard shutting off his brain and getting some sleep because he was constantly thinking. It didn't even matter what he was thinking about, it still caused his inability to sleep. Sometimes he considered taking something from his mom's medicine cabinet to help him with it but he knew he didn't even have the balls.

Isaac really needed balls.