Without The Thought of Him

four days ago

"Bro, are you fucking kidding me? Having an ass is way hotter than having big tits. You're weird."

Long story short, Isaac hated boys. Specifically straight boys who think it's okay to talk about girls in the ways that they do. Not only was Isaac thankful as hell to be gay, he was lucky to have a rare bunch of straight friends who weren't disrespectful and utterly disgusting. He did not get the appeal of hung straight guys whatsoever. More than half of the girls at this school, and frankly in this world, deserved so much better.

But Isaac knew he was a part of the group he pitied because he was into men as well. God, life really sucked sometimes. Okay, it sucked most of the time.

Sandra Savens was his best friend--well was his best friend--and just because she was a girl did not mean he was one of those stereotypical gays. He had plenty of guy friends as well, most of them weren't straight though, but obviously he didn't pick friends based on what or who they were.

It wasn't until high school where Isaac began to kind of branch out and expand his friend group. Having one solid friend was great, but he knew he had to start becoming more social to get anywhere in life. That's when he started hanging out with other boys.

Manny Lopez was probably his second closest friend. The two met in freshman year gym class after Isaac fell on his ass during a pretty intense game of three-on-three basketball. Obviously Isaac wasn't any good, which was the reason why he ended up on the ground and having his legs stepped--no--stomped on.

Manny helped him up from the gym floor and accompanied him in the nurse's office while he got his bruises iced and scratches patched up.

Manny was the first straight person Isaac's ever spoken with to actually be educated and respectful, which was probably why he was always so curious and interested in him from the start. It was nice to talk to a straight guy who didn't bring up sex in every single conversation, even when there were girls around.

The two started to do a lot together, which was honestly really nice. It brought him back to the old days when he had an old pal just like him.

Isaac had other friends of course, but Manny and Sandra were definitely his main and best friends.

Well, he wasn't exactly sure where he stood with Sandra anymore.

He met Sandra when he was young, their second grade teacher, Miss. Hodder, actually being the one to set the two up.

Literally. Sandra had the biggest crush on him when they first met. She told him that crush quickly dissipated when she saw him staring a little too hard at Ethan Bridges everyday during recess. She also claimed that she could sense he was gay from the beginning, but didn't stop liking him because she felt like she could turn him straight.

It sadly didn't really work out though.

Sandra and him remained friends all the way up until now, despite drama and fights the two had through their long friendship journey. Things definitely got heated and dark at times, but the two were still just as close from when they met. Despite the girl being a Sagittarius and wild as hell, Isaac loved her energy and knew he was lucky to have a friend like her. He wondered what she was going to do for her 18th birthday that was in three days. They haven't talked since Isaac cut off all contact with her.

Of course that all changed after what she did to sabotage his one chance at finding somebody.

Isaac adjusts his position in his chair, completely forgetting about the fact that he was supposed to be watching the video about the branches of government playing at the front of the class. He couldn't even hear it anyways, the guys beside him now discussing their favorite sex positions with their girlfriends. He hated that the substitute wasn't doing a thing about all the excess talking around the room, but he didn't want to be that guy to say anything.

Isaac was debating if he should write a note on his unfinished paper saying that he couldn't focus because his classmates were talking about fucking, but quickly decides against it when one of the boys taps his shoulder and asks if he could copy the answers he had so far.

Along with the annoying as fuck discussion happening a foot away from him, Isaac also couldn't stop thinking about Sam and what the fuck he was going to say to the boy when he saw him after school today. He knew he had to say something, even if that was just an apology for storming away from him the other day. He felt childish and extremely embarrassed about what he did, and he knew the only thing he could do to ease his embarrassment was to talk to the boy.

Isaac exhales deeply, leaning back in his seat and waiting for class to be over.

And when it is over, he starts wishing it never ended.

Before he knows it, school lets out and Isaac was practically shitting his pants. He wasn't sure he's ever been this nervous in his life. Hell, he was more nervous now than he was before. Surely Sam wasn't good for his mental health at all.

Isaac takes his headphones out before he even reaches the doors that led outside, shoving them into his pocket before licking over his thin lips. He keeps his head down as he slips out the door, keeping it there until he decides it was time to just fucking do this.

He lifts his head up and looks directly at the spot where Sam usually stood with his friends.

His friends were there, laughing and showing each other their phones like usual. Isaac always assumed they were watching funny Twitter videos or something exciting like that.

But there was one thing missing from the group.

(a/n: Did you guys want me to include some pictures/gifs of how I imagine the characters? Let me know in the comments! Hope you're enjoying everything, thank you sooo much!!!)