One Wild Night | ✅

25: Feel

IT HAS BEEN NEARLY four years since she last stepped on the dreamland that is New York. Naaalala pa niya noong una siyang makarating dito ay kulang na lang ay halikan niya ang lupa. She was too excited to start her dream then, ngayon parang unang tapak niya pa lang dito ay may kulang na. She was missing Leo badly, kahit nga si Grant ay ilang beses na ito hinanap. Pinagpasyahan nila ni Collin na unti-untiin din ang pagpapakilala sa pamilya nito kay Grant kaya hinayaan muna sila nito na magpahinga at umuwi sa apartment niya.

"I have informed them that you and Grant are coming." Sabi nito sa kanya noong maibaba si Grant sa kama. Bagsak sa pagod dahil sa haba ng byahe ang anak nila kaya hindi na ito magising pa kahit na nakalapag na siya sa airport. Matagal din kasi ang naging layover nila sa Japan kaya naubos ang energy ni Grant na akala niya ay unlimited noon.

"Them?" She wondered.

"My mother and my sister." He said bago inayos ang pagkakakumot kay Grant.

"Alright." Tumango lang siya. "Will he be able to meet his sister?"

"Not yet, me and Portia are still not talking. She's still disappointed with the divorce." She can see sadness in his eyes, mukhang kahit na ito naman ay hindi masaya sa desisyon nito. "Maybe after a while. Hopefully."

Hindi na siya nagtanong pa kasi kita naman ang lungkot sa mga mata nito. He's not happy with how it turned out with his ex-wife. Walang kahit na anong liwanag na makikita dito maliban na lang kapag kausap nito si Grant. He's a good father and she thanks him for it. Saglit na lang sila nag-usap pa ni Collin at umalis na din ito. He promised to come back early to pick them up. He said that he wanted to take Grant around and play with him kapag nagising na ito. She wasn't planning on doing naything but give Collin and Grant time kaya naman pumayag na siya.

It feels very different being here with Grant now. Naging isang malaking rollercoaster ang buhay niya mula noong malaman niya na she's having him and at first she was really afraid of that, and maybe longer after he was born. Natatakot siyang magkamali siya. Ang dami niyang naranasan noon na sakit na akala niya hindi niya malalagpasan, na hindi niya makakaya na magpalaki ng isang bata with only herself pero she did with the help of everyone around her. She raised her son fairly well. Grant's a normal toddler and she wants to offer him the world if only he could.

"You've settled in?" Tanong sa kanya ni Leo habang kausap ito sa isang video call. She felt glad na sinagot nito agad ang tawag niya.

"Yeah. Grant's been sleeping since 10 PM. The flight must have really worn him out." She yawned. Alas dose na kasi ng madaling araw sa New York at napagod din siya sa byahe pero mas gusto niyang marinig ang boses at makita si Leo more than sleep.

"Ikaw din pagod. Why don't you sleep yet tiger? It's midnight there already." He smiled. Ilang oras pa lang silang hindi nagkikita ay miss na miss na niya ito. If only she could hug him somehow.

"I wanted to see you first. It already feels really lonely her without you." She sighed.

"I miss you too." He laughed. "Nakakamiss kayong dalawa ni Grant. Is Collin okay?"

"Okay? Yeah. He's doing well with Grant. Okay naman siya. He says he'll take Grant for a stroll bukas sa park." Collin and her are really civil and they're really okay. They don't talk as much, yung mga mahahalaga lang. It feels awfully awkward to speak freely with him kasi may gap pa sa kanilang dalawa. "We'll go home as soon as we can."

"I know," he smiled. "Come back and hug me real tight okay?"

"Hindi lang yakap, i-kiss pa kita. Love you." She smiled. "Sending you all my love."

"Me too, I love you." Then they said their goodbyes. It's as though taon na sila magkalayo pero isang araw pa lang naman. How can she survive the days to come kung ganito na niya kamiss ang nobyo? It's uncomfortable to be this far away from him lalo na at halos magkasama sila araw-araw nito for the past 4 years. It's as if may kulang sa kanya.