sublime [2]

[03] cant lie

last night me and diego went to bed right after we talked about that meeting. we watched some movies and cuddled for a bit before falling asleep.

this morning, i woke up and diego wasn't lying beside me. i could hear noise coming from downstairs of loud music.

i dressed up in some adidas black trousers and a purple-ish cropped, then walked downstairs. he was hitting a blunt while his eyes were closed and he listened to his own songs. there was also a notepad and a pen beside him, which made me think he was probably writing more songs.

i quietly walked to him and sat on his lap, pulling the blunt from his hand and hitting it too. he didn't say anything. he just stared at me until i spoke. "good morning to you too."

"good morning." he replied. after i was done smoking that blunt he took it from me and he blew the smoke on my face. i inhaled all i could before kissing him, resting my arms on his shoulders while i held his neck. he kissed back but didn't touch my body at all. his hands were laying beside his body, on the couch. he's mad because of that job offer.

he turned his face to the side, suddenly pulling away. "you don't need to be mad over it, i didn't say i was going to take the job. if you're not okay with it... well then i think i'll pass it." i told him, playing with his hair.

"i don't want you to pass it because of me, kota. i'm mad because i know that it'll help your career and it'll be good for you. but it'll all happen beside skies. and i know that i can trust you, i'm just really annoyed that if you don't feel good, the only one that i know will be there for you will be skies. i won't be able to hold you anymore." he said avoiding eye contact. his voice was deep. his eyes looking away from mine showed sadness. i didn't want to leave him like that.

i hugged him, but it took a little time for him to hug me back. "i'm sorry for all of that, i hate it all. but i'm not stopping you from going, babe. it'll be great for you and i just wanna see my baby happy. it's a yes from me." he caressed my back, and we stayed like this for a while before we stood up and went to do our things.

first we headed to make breakfast since diego told me he had just woken up as well, then we sat to eat and both headed straight to work.

three days had been gone since the meeting day. i took a bit of each day to think carefully about it. i don't wanna ruin anything, but i know, deep down, that it'll be hard to deal with skies being right beside me all the time.

i can't lie to myself — even though i wish i could —, i like diego a lot, i might even love him, but skies is never gone from my mind. he's always there. i'm always remembering of our time together. his laugh, his eyes, his smile, his tattoos, his way to be... diego makes me happy, yeah, but unfortunately i'll never be happy as i was during the time me and skies were together. the worst thing is that i know that skies did a lot of shit — but i keep wanting him more than anything on earth. people make mistakes.

and that's mostly why i'm afraid of taking this job. diego hadn't come home yet, he told me it was the busy days in the studio. so i took this chance to be alone thinking really carefully.

THE CREEPING MUSIC VIDEO IS LIT
SKIES LOOKS SO CUTE IN IT OML
ANYWAYS HOPE YALL R ENJOYING THIS SHITTY ASS STORY, also sorry for the small chapter smh