sublime [2]

[19] red rose

i couldn't help but go the whole trip thinking about what i'm doing right now. was it the right thing? am i just putting myself in another trap? right now i was sure of what i wanted, but i wasn't sure of how it was gonna turn out later on. i'm not the best at making decisions, most of them don't turn out how i plan them to. and that's what i'm afraid of.

when i landed, i asked lana if she could come pick me up at the airport. she did so and drove us to the café we used to go to when i lived with her.

"so... why are you here? did something happen between you and skies?" lana asked after the waitress left with our orders.

"kinda..."

"shit. did y'all fight? oh, sweetie..." she said pouting her lips making a sad expression show on her face.

"no... uh, not like that... we... we kissed, lana. and..." i lowered my face, feeling my cheeks burn.

"oh, fuck!" she said in a funny way. "so wait, did you come back because of that? did you give up on the tour?" she asked, then, showing worry.

"no, no. i... i followed your advice. i'm here to end things with diego." her mouth dropped.

"wow. that's... good, kota." she smiled, but it didn't seem really real.

"is there something wrong?" i asked worried.

"uh, no. to be honest, i just didn't think you'd actually hear me out and do it." she giggled. "but i'm happy you did. i mean, that's what you want, right?" i nodded to her question, making her smile wide. "are you... doing that now?"

"i mean, i don't know, should i?"

"i think you should! get that shit done so that we can chill later. what do you think?" i nodded, agreeing with her.

we soon left the café and headed to lana's car. she dropped me off at diego's and parked somewhere near his house.

i walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

i really don't know if i want him to be home or not.

my hands were sweaty, my heart racing and my body slightly shaking. i was so nervous. i cheated. after all the pain i went through because of cheating?! it fucks my head up. why, dakota? why?

the door opened, revealing a sleepy faced diego. "kota?" his face lit up, with a bit of confusion showing. he went up to hug me. i hugged him back and quickly went in.

"what are you doing here?" he asked with a small smile. does he remember we kind of fought less than a week ago?

"i... i came to talk to you."

"that doesn't sound good. is everything okay? did something go wrong during the tour?" he worries so much about me... i feel so, so bad for doing this to him.