sublime [2]

[07] did he?

the night went by and once again i didn't enjoy it. i spent it all thinking about skies and seeing him with another girls.

he knew what he was doing. he knew that he would make me feel bad like that. he knew i still have feelings for him. he was just trying to make me admit it. but i won't. never.

as we were driving back home after i kept insisting to go home, because of a 'bad headache' that never existed, lana decided to stay the night again — but she was going home tomorrow. she just didn't want to go home this late.

"damn baby, you really ain't feeling good." diego said when we got to our room and i threw myself on the bed.

"did you think i was faking?" i turned my head to face him, that was now shirtless, lying beside me and caressing my head.

"i didn't say that. i just thought you were a bit better. what's making you feel like this?" i shrugged, not gonna tell him, duh. "well, i hope you get better." he kissed my forehead. "i'll be back in a minute." diego said as he left the room.

i took a deep breath and fell asleep before i could tell.

"kota," diego's voice called my name. "kota!"

"what???" i lift my head and then turned it around, looking for diego.

"get up. it's 1pm and lana's leaving." he said pulling the blankets that were over me.

"uhhhh, can't she wait?" i buried my face on the pillow, feeling lazy as hell. the worst part of the day is when i have to get up.

"no, come on!"

"fine, i'll be there in a second." i reply looking at him, but he doesn't even move. he just keeps staring at me. "what's wrong now?"

"kota, we've been living together for three months now, i know that you'll end up sleeping again if you don't get up. so get up. now." he spoke as if it was the most obvious thing.

"jeez! but you're right." we giggled. i stood up and stretched a bit. diego came up to me and left a peck on my lips, later leaving the room and closing the door.

i put some comfy, casual clothes on and did my matinal routine.

after i was done, i walked downstairs and was able to see diego and lana talking while the tv was on and they had their phones out.

"good morning, sleepy princess." lana joked, laughing while she stood up. i walked to her as we hugged.

"are you going now?!"

"yes, landon said he wanted to talk." she shrugged. i arched my eyebrows and brought her to another brief hug.

"good luck, then. i hope everything goes right." i truly told her, smiling softly and looking into her eyes. "if you need to call me or spend some other nights here, just tell me!" lana nodded as we fully pulled away from each other. "love you!" before lana could leave, i told her, while i walked her to the door and she left in an uber.

"i like lana, you know that, but we missed two days that we could spend together." diego spoke when i sat by his side as he kissed my shoulder. i didn't know what to say, so i simply smiled at him and nodded.

he went up from my shoulders to my neck, jawline, cheeks and then finally, my lips. but my head was distant, my mind was distant. i was thinking about skies, is he fucking someone right now? did he wake up beside that blonde girl? does he even still care about me?; questions like these were all over my mind. distracting me from the real world. making me upset for nothing.

diego was getting each time more into the kissing; he gripped my tight, bringing me closer to him. but i wasn't feeling anything but sadness or anger. not because of him, of course.

i didn't want this to seem so obvious, so i faked being into the kiss too. but we all know what i was thinking.

did skies kiss a girl like this, last night?

the next thing i knew was diego bringing both of us upstairs.

he laid me on the huge bed, and kept the kiss going. diego took my shirt off and examined my body as i closed my eyes.

he left kisses from my neck down to my chest, before he started taking my bra off too.

he leaned his body down on top of mine as he kissed every spot he could. he started taking his clothes off, and that's where i stopped him.

his eyes met mine as he stared at my face, confused. "what's wrong?" he asked still on the same position of when i stopped him.

"i just don't feel like having sex right now." i was direct to the point. that was true, though. "i'm sorry, babe." i put my hands on my face, fully covering it.

diego finished taking off his clothes and staying only with his boxers on. but he didn't try anything else but lying beside me and pulling me close to him. "are you okay?" he asked worried. i had never done this before, he was clearly lost.

"i still don't feel good." i felt perfectly right — just not mentally.

"do you need anything? if you want we could go to the hospital, i'll stay there with y-" i shook my head no, as i weakly smiled at him.

"can we... just go to sleep? i asked hoping he'd agree with me.

he nodded his head and turned around, turning the lights off.

"good night, baby. i hope you feel good by tomorrow." he left a kiss on top of my head. i don't deserve him. he doesn't deserve my shit.