you, me and music (the only escape)

chapter 4

I was standing against the wall in the hallway, waiting for the bell to make its ringing sound, telling us to go to our first class of the day. With my earphones in my ears I just watched the other people in the hallway. Some were copying homework from their friends and some were just talking, probably about other people. There was this one group of guys, probably seniors, standing a few meters away from me, pointing at me and they were laughing and talking. When I turned my face and looked at them, they just kept on laughing. They were saying things that I couldn't hear, because of my music and the noise of all the people around me, but I didn't even want to know what they were saying. Bunch of dicks.

The bell rang and the crowd started to move. I wanted to wait until the group of dickheads that was laughing at me had made their move to the classrooms so I didn't need to walk past them, but they didn't move. They just kept on talking to each other. There were still some people in the hallway and I really had to go to my classroom. I didn't want to be late so I just grabbed my bag, took a deep breath and started walking. As I walked past the group of seniors they all looked up from their conversation and stared at me. They followed me with their eyes and one of them shouted at me,

"Never thought about getting cancer, so you could get rid of that awful ginger hair?"

They all bursted out in laughter and as I walked past them I heard one of them say "It's probably because of her carrot head that she doesn't have any friends!"

I pretended I didn't hear them and walked to my French class as fast as I could. It was obvious that I heard everything they said, but I'd rather pretend I did not. It was a big relief that I came in class on time. I chose a place in the back of the class and sat down. I tried my hardest to stay calm and not cry.

It wasn't the comment about my hair that made me sad, because I liked my hair. It was orange, but not bright orange like a carrot, it was more going to the brown side, but it was still mainly orange. It never bothered me to be a ginger, I liked how it looked on me. Sadly not everyone liked it like I did.

But the fact that I still hadn't made any friends was kind of a sensitive subject. I tried my best not to worry about it too much but assholes like that group of seniors didn't help very much at trying to forget it.

I hated that kind of people. People that think that they're better than everyone else and show that by making other people feel bad about themselves. It's just the lowest thing you can do. And the fact that they even threw the word cancer at my face, made it even lower.

When I was younger I always wondered what it's like to go to highschool. People always say that your teenage years are the best years of your life. Well, I don't know how miserable my life will be after highschool, but if it is alot worse, I'd rather just stay here, I think.

I don't know what I'm most afraid of, today or tomorrow. This one thing they have in common is that you don't know if it's gonna be better or worse than yesterday.