First Times

Chapter 12

Once again, I woke up to the sound of my alum clock, waking me up for school. I could smell the fresh smell of mother's pancakes being cooked. I got up and sat on the edge of my bed, itching my eyes. I stood up, and walked over to my dressing table and, apply my cream, to help my scar. I forgotten most mornings, since starting my new school, to apply this. after that, I pulled over a v-neck baby blue top, which I haven't warn for ages, with my rolled up jeans. I did a side fish tail, hair style on the side of my scar. I never do anything with my hair, as I try my hard to cover my scar with it. It has been a long time since I tried to look nice for school. I went out of my room, down the stairs, and walked into the kitchen, with the gorges smell of fresh pancakes. my mother was not in sight, but I sat down at the beautifully laid table, and began to eat this wonderful feast. Then my mother walked in half way me eating breakfast.

"Morning sweetie! don't forget, you at seeing doctor green today, for your new medication!"

"Okay", I said and continue eating my food. after that I went back up stairs, and brushed my teeth, got my school bag, and went to school, by the help of my mother driving me there. when I got there, I began to walk up the school steps, and there I saw, Calum holding a bunch of different shades of yellow flowers.

"Hi...", I said with a huge smile.

"Well hello!"

"For me?", I tried to ask him without being rude.

"Well we have to see..", he said with a smile forming on his face. He looked so handsome in his white t-shirt, black jeans, and his gray hoodie. "shall we go to class?"

"..Okay!", I said and he lent his arm out for me to hold his hand whole he leads the way. as we walked through the school, people began to stop and stair. my smile began to go up side down. I began to hear people whisper, and laugh. I felt cold inside, cold! I felt like we were walking in slow motion, with the whole school eyes beaming on us. I heard people talk about my scar, how I looked skinny, why was I trying to hard to look nice, when I will never do. I felt a whole in my heart. I began to hold Calum's hand less tighter, then my hand slipped out of his hand, and ran off. I felt this whole moment was in slow motion. I could hear Calum shout my name, but it was just an echo. the closest place I could go to was behind the schools fields. I faced the wall, and cried. I could hear foot steps come near.

"Jessica!". it was Calum.

"Please, can you go away"

"No"

"Why do you like me? I'm not like those fancy girls. my life sucks. I got this...this thing on my face. I'm just a skinny girl, with my life destroyed when I was about 6, and...."

"Your not like those girls! you are better! you don't need to be like them, or put all of that make up thing, you are beautiful! your beautiful! everything about you makes me love you! your life is not destroyed anymore! you don't need anyone at this school, because you got me! and that's pretty cool", he said, and I laughed at the comment of him saying he's cool.

"Your right, you are..well 'cool' ", I said and we both laugh.

"Let me ask you the right way this time. shall we go to class?". I nodded and he led the way to my first lesson. Since me starting my new school, the school days have gone fast. I met my mother, by the sidewalk, and when my first session oft new medication.

"Right, would you take a seat, thank you",the woman said in the office, and me and my mother say down. We waited for doctor Green to come and great us and start this process, in awkward silence, until and short woman came and called our names to room 13. We followed her until we got to the room and she said

"Right, Doctor Green will be here in any minuet!", She said a gave me a elephant pastille hospital Gown to were. Once again, my mother left to get 'tea', but I know this is the part when she starts praying for the medication to work. she doesn't know I know, but it's her little thing she likes to do and I find it very sweet! I heard the door unlock and saw Doctor Green walk in with a tray full of the medication equipment.

"Hello, is your mother out to get tea?"

"Yes, again"

"Okay so let's get started!"

"Wait! don't I have to wait for my mother? she won't be long, she is..."

"I'm sorry, we have to do this now, I got other passions as well to treat. I very sorry", she said as she cuts me off. I nodded and began the process of hell. I didn't see or really remember, part from it hurts like hell, but I kept remembering when I was little when I got force onto a bed with doctors, nurses, felt like pinging me down to the hospital's bed just to get an ingestion. what scared me the most was how the doctors and nurses had those marks around there face, and that freaked me out to the day! The sound of me screaming, replayed in my head, from when I was younger, felt like it was never fading away.

"There we go!", Someone said in a echo.

"Huh...?"

"Looks like you went into a bit of a shock!", the doctor said as I heard her speak not in a echo tone to me.

"Right here are your new pain killers! make sure you read the instruction before use! and I will see you next week monday!". I nodded and walked out to try and find my mother. It only took a second when I turned a corner and saw her walk out of the toilets, dabbing a tissue over her face.

"Mother? are you going to be alright?", I asked her she nodded and led me to car. The car journey was just us listening to the news. when we got home she rushed through the house door and began to cook tea. I watched her but I could tell she was getting angry.

"Jessica! it's rude to stair! go to your room and when I call you for tea, you come down!"

"Mother! why are you being like this! you need to stop being in this funk and move past this! I'm your one and only! and you know that! I live you what ever is the matter! I will always will do!"

"I'm sorry sweetie, it's just I drove past, well your fathers grave yard and I.. well it's hard for me to go near that place with out tears rolling down my face, I haven't been there since your fathers funeral, and I just can't! I can't go back there and be remembered from the past!

"Mother, you both know I can't do the same! I know how it feels! you lost the love of your life, and it's hard I know! but sometimes, you got to let go of the past and try and so dare devilling things! I love you so much! and you so do know that, and you have nothing to worry about!", I said to my mother, and straight away hugged her.

"Thank you dear, I will continue with tea", she said with a smile, and I went up stairs to my room.