To Gamble (A heart for a heart) R18

Chapter 29 - Ang Countertop

I felt like a new person after with happened with Diego. Masyadong bumaba ang pagpapahalaga ko sa aking sarili. Pupwede na akong ihalintulad sa mga ibong mababa ang lipad. No kidding.

A person paid me for sex. I can call myself a prostitute.

Masyado akong naging alipi ng salapi kaya hindi ko masisi ang mga mapanghusgang mga alta noon na minamata ako.

That's the main reason why I accepted the fact that love and relationship was not for me. Sino ba naman ang papayag na makipagrelasyon sa akin kapag nalaman nila iyon?

Who would accept someone like me? Lalo pang pinag-igting ng tadhana ang katotohanang iyon nang nakita ko kung gaano naging misarable ang Mama ko nang maghiwalay sila ng Dada.

Sex for me will always be the foundation of a relationship. It will make everything so alive. That sinful deed will make you want your partner more. So why get yourself in a soffucating commitment when you can satisfy your inner desires without getting into one?

Being with this heavily sleeping guy beside me has changed that.

I was lying on my side, facing Noah who was also facing me but he's asleep. I stared at his tamed face. Kahit tulog ay kita pa rin ang tapang ng kanyang mukha dahil sa mga kanto nito.

I love his sharp jawline. I love kissing it and it would feel like it's sharpness can cut my lips. Instinctively, I trailed my fingertips on the stubbles growing on his jaw.

It seemed like God took his time when he sculpted this man's face. His eyebrows were thick and naturally bushy, his nose was narrow and pointed, his lips looked so soft, the bottom was fuller than the upper. His cheekbones were high enough and it was aligned with his 5 o'clock jaw.

Ngunit kahit gaano katapang ang kanyang mukha, sobrang amo naman ng kanyang mata. His eyeslashes are almost touching his cheeks now that his eyes are closed. But behind those eyelids were the warmest chocolate colored eyes I've ever seen.

Nakakatakot lamang ito kapag nagagalit siya. His eyes were literally the windows to his emotions. You can see everything through those pools.

Now I can't believe that someone like him fell in love with me.

He was an expert chef, has a colorful personality yet dry sense of humor but he was perfect for me. And I love him. So much.

Now I promise to spoil him with my love. I will give him all the love that has been kept inside my heart.

Hinintay lamang siguro talaga ng Diyos ang tamang lalaking pagbubuhusan ko ng pagmamahal na kinikimkim ko.

With my fingers trailing on his God like face, his eyes fluttered open.

We were quiet for a while. Ninamnam ang bawat detalye ng mukha ng bawat isa. Sa sobrang pagpipigil ko ng damdamin ko para sa kanya ay parang sumabog na ito ngayon. My love for him was at it's fullest and I know it will be like that for a long while. Baka nga forever pa.

"How was your sleep?" I almost sounded like a guy because of my husky bedroom voice.

He gave me an adorable smile. I almost melted in a pool of chocolate.

"I love you," God, was he perfect.

Nanikip ang dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang saya. I didn't know it was even possible. My heart was so full it's almost suffocating.

"I thought last night was dream. Sinisigurado ko lang," dugtong pa niya nang hindi ako kaagad nakasagot.

Knots formed in my throat. I hate it that I was becoming emotional because of him. I loved extremes so much, now Noah's making me feel all the extreme emotions.