To Gamble (A heart for a heart) R18

Chapter 34 - Ang Pamilya

Sinasalubong ng aking mukha ang malakas na hangin habang nakadungaw ako sa sasakyan. Nothing  feels and smells like home.

Fabs and I were almost in our house in Bulacan. Ako ang may gusto n'on dahil gusto ko munang makapagpahinga sa trabaho at sa dami ng iniisip. And he was very supportive of it.

Although feeling a lot lighter than ever before because I finally came clean with Noah, my longing for him grew stronger. It took so my so many years before I found the guy I finally want to be commited to, the one I can imagine spending the rest of life with, but still the only one I'm scared of, for knowing the vital part of who I am and what made me live life this way.

They say to love is to take risks, that love is much like a gamble, well I did took a few risks, I made the gamble, but did not lay all of my cards for him.

I kept my ace of diamonds hidden until the end of the game hoping I would win, but ended up losing because he was first to quit the game thinking that he will make me win, without knowing the fact that with him finally quit on playing, made us both lose the whole game.

I should've showed him my ace while it was early and our love just started, I should've showed him all my cards to prove to him that I didn't want to play anymore. That I'm willing to quit the game the same time he did, but cowardice made it hard for our love to last.

Mahal na mahal ko si Noah. Pero kung hanggang doon na lamang ang istorya naming dalawa, tatanggapin ko na iyon.

With so much regrets and should have beens, I guess our love was meant to end this way.

I embraced the pain our love caused, the same love that kept me alive the past months, even though it's sucking the life out me now.

Still, I finally want to accept my fate.

Though I couldn't say that what I did with Diego was a mistake, still a lot of backfiring happened.

"We're here," Fabs said in almost a whisper. Probably because he was tired from the driving. I woke him up early for this.

Nag-inat ako ng braso, ngayon lang napansin ang ngalay dahil sa dami ng iniisip.

Kinuha ko ang bag na dala sa backseat, samantalang si Fabs naman ay may dalang maleta.

"Wow, ilang buwan ba tayo dito? Ang dami mong dala!" Sabi ko. The house was quiet, mag-aala sais pa lamang ng umaga.

"You tell me, ilang buwan tayong maglulugmok dito hanggang sa makamove on ka?" Pagbibiro niya. Which earned a grimace from me.

"Mga apo!" It was my Lola Gracia who welcomed us. Nasa gilid pala siya ng bahay at nagwawalis.

"Lola!" Si Fabs ang sumalubong sa kanya ng yakap. I smiled at them.

He has been really close with my family ever sinced I've known him. Dahil dito sa bahay nakakapaglantad siya ng kanyang berdeng dugo.

"Hi La," niyakap ko rin ang Lola at doon pa lang ay nanlabo na agad ang mga mata ko dahil sa luha.

My gosh! Ang emotional ko naman! This is what sometimes I hate when I visit my family, parang lahat ng problema at sakit ay gusto kong sabihin sa kanila. Because they all make me feel better.

"Buti at naisipan niyong bumisita rito. Naku Fabian! Miss ka na namin! Ang huling pasyal mo rito ay ilang buwan na ang nakakaraan!" May pagtatampo sa boses ni Lola, sinamahan pa ng pabirong pagkurot niya sa singit ni Fabs.

"La naman, paborito niyo talagang kurutin ang singit ko!" Nakangusong sabi niya. Mahina akong natawa at napailing.

"Gusto mo ba'y sa itlog nalang kita ulit kurutin?" They both laughed and I laugh along with them.