To Gamble (A heart for a heart) R18

Epilogue

Hi!

It has been a while, I may not update consistently but you're still here. Thank you and I appreciate you more that you can imagine. I am not a professional writer but God knows how writing helped me through my tough times. And with you supporting my work/s, it's such a gift to me. I have decided to finish Geri and Noah's story because I am trying to write better and also make better plots. I hope your support doesn't end here. I love you!

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I had a really bad perception about marriage. Strange that I design wedding dresses but the idea of marriage never fails to make me grimace in, I'm stuck between pain and disgust. I am not a cynic. I'm not saying I don't believe in marriage.

Just the idea of swearing to the God above to be commited to a certain person, to devote yourself to them for the rest of your life... it's appaling to me.

But wearing a gown from a designer I look up to, the design that I pictured myself getting married in to when I was young and free from the adulterated thoughts and evilness of this world hits different.

Mangha akong nakatingin sa salamin sa aking kwarto habang suot ang wedding gown na gagamitin ko para sa shoot. It's an Eli Saab gown whom I very much idolize.

I ran my fingers on the satin fabric and it's softness sent tingles on my back. I love designing gowns, I always loved the reaction of my clients whenever we do their final fitting.

How their eyes glistened with tears because of pure bliss and happiness. Shaking because of excitement to tie the knot.

Hindi naman ako ikakasal, but I think I freaking have the jitters. Ganito pala siguro kapag naisuot mo na ang gown na talagang gustong-gusto mo.

Out of the choices they showed me, this one stood out. It was very simple. An A-line gown with sheer bishop sleeves. The fabric of the dress is pure satin that's why it's very delicate and soft on the hands. It has a low back cut and it's train is no more than two meters long.

And haba nito ay saktong sakto lamang dahil sa takong na suot ko.

My hair is in soft waves but voluminous and my make up is very simple and natural. It was everything I have imagined to look like if ever I will ever get married.

As I stare at myself wearing a wedding gown, I cannot help but think of Noah. But who am I kidding? I never stopped thinking about him ever since that dinner.

Nalilibang man dahil narito ako sa Bulacan kasama ang pamilya, kapag sasapit naman ang gabi at oras na ng pagtulog ay walang humpay na naman ang utak ko kakaisip sa kanya.

There's nothing much I can do but to feel the pain of letting go of someone who made me feel things I never thought I was capable of feeling. I have to suck this up because I know, deep down, that I do not deserve him. He's too good for me.. And maybe with that thought, it's an unselfish thing to do.

Napabaling ang ulo sa pinto dahil sa pagkatok doon.

Fabian's head peaked, "Let's go?"

I straightened my back and gave him a halfhearted smile. "Game."

Fabs helped me with the train as we go down on the stairs. My eyebrows met when I saw a setup on the living room. May backdrop, lights, camera at photographer doon. There were a few staff too.

I was holding my dress with my both hands, lifting it so I would not trip. Nang makarating sa sala ay agad ko silang tinanong.