To Gamble (A heart for a heart) R18

Chapter 5 - Ang Sili

Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to rrlm24, because she's the first person who commented! I love comments guys! Her comment encouraged me to update again. All the love! xx

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Umiling ako ng paulit-ulit. Paulit-ulit hangang sa nabali ang leeg ko at nadedo ako. Char. Sobrang fresh ko pa para mamatay noh.

I just can't serioulsy figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I've been attracted with so many guys, dated most of them. I am used on getting the guy I want. It's easy. Guys are very easy to tempt, to seduce... Gullible at times even. I toy with guys' feelings. I make them so smitten by me, crave more of me and when I sense that it is getting too much, I'll break their egos.. their hearts..

May naghahabol, some even asked my hand for marriage, for Pete's sake! I just can't do commitments. Masyadong komplikado. Being single and having some casual hook ups greatly satisfies me.

Am I such a bitch? Yes. Am I a rule breaker? Hell yes! Rules are created to be defied anyway. Am a heartbreaker? Uh huh. It's just awesomely satisfying to see a guy beg for your attention, for your love and watch them destroy themselves because of the pain.

I teach guys a lesson. Love causes pain. It will destroy you and will steal your sanity. They say that it is a great feeling, a pure bliss. But feeling the pain of getting your heart broken? It might get unbearable.

No. I've never been in love. But how can I say this? Because I witnessed my mom almost.. just almost lose herself because of that pain. I have witnessed when my dad, her so called 'true love' left her for another woman. Imposibleng hindi magsawa ang isang tao. That is also why I hate being commited. Madali akong magsawa.

Kaya iyang love na 'yan? In my own terms, it's just the feeling of someone's raging libido.

Now I'm confused. I feel something really really strange everytime that Noah is around. Damn, I've been with tons of men but it's different.. bizarrely different when I'm with him. It feels like there is this weird pull when we're together. Goddamn it because I never felt this before!

"Fuck, Geri. You're over thinking. You're clearly lusting for that man and he will be yours in no time. You'll get rid of him soon!" I convinced myself as I let out a breath of exhaustion.

Iika-ika akong naglakad patungo sa banyo, carefully shifting my weight on my either foot. Baka kailangan ko lang talagang i-shower ang kahibangang ito!

Agad akong dumiretso sa salaming pinto ng shower room at hinubad lahat ng saplot ko. Agad ko pinihit ang heater pala timplahin ang tubig. Once the water was lukewarm, I quickly settled underneath the shower.

I wash scrubbing my arm when I felt a familiar itch on my nape. And then on chest, then on my arms, for a split of seconds, I was literally itching everywhere. I quickly turned off the shower and dried myself. Isinuot ko agad ang bathrobe at mabagal akong lumabas sa banyo, at may unti-unti akong mararamdaman na tila ba namamaga sa lalamunan ko. At iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ako nahirapang huminga.

Fuck allergy! Fuck every fucking allergies in world!

I was coughing and gasping for air at the same time, I could feel my tears welling up. Dumagdag pa sa iritasyon ko ay ang sobrang pangangati ng katawan ko. Dumiretso ako sa mga luggages na dala ko at agad na binuksan iyon at kinuha ang medical kit ko sa malaking bulsa sa gilid.

Agad kong nilabas ang inhaler ko at dali-daling kumuha doon ng hangin. Ang lakas ng kabog ng puso ko habang hinahabol ko ang aking hininga. Kamot din ang ng kamot dahil sa sobrang kati at iritasyon. Visible red marks were starting to swell on my skin. Binulatlat ko ang medical kit at inilabas ang syringe na naglalaman na ng gamot ko.