Figurehead

one

I still don't know why I'm here.

I've been here for a month now, almost, and I have been able to make no difference at all. I have made no impact. I'm no mediator, no peacekeeper. None of us are.

In this past month, yes, there have been uprisings, protests, clashes both physical and verbal. No trusted messenger has made any change here. The locals won't listen, and if they're not careful, they may break the decrees of both empires by trying to cause harm.

It is night now. Half of Deritri is desert land, so there is no snow here, only winds colder than ice. Yef and Tri were able to find the dwelling of a trusted messenger willing to let us stay while she went elsewhere. She was one of the Avu, but she was apparently kind enough to help us this way.

I can't sleep here, not when shouts, drunken and sober, ring out in the dusty streets, muffled by kerchiefs but still loud in the otherwise-silent night. Not when I can hear the scuffling of sand and can't tell if it is a desert animal or fight in the street. Some days, we have left the dwelling to see smudges of blood on the bricks of other dwellings, or dried pools in the sand.

So I don't try to sleep anymore, not really.

It is darker than night in the room, the fire having gone out long ago. I sit upright on my pallet, a thick pelt draped over my shoulders. I think we will return to Escatin land soon enough.

We have heard so little from our people for the time we have been here. It isn't safe to send word, it's not worth the risk. Avu has its own messengers, as well as trusted messengers, but rarely do they bother crossing the border.

Deritri is inhabited by the only Escatin in Avu land, as well as Avu locals. And the division between the two groups is more than substantial. In this small section of the province, more a small village of its own than the outskirts of a large city, it seems every Avu local knows every other. Any of Escatin land are quickly seen as foreigners. Outsiders. And above all- unwelcome. I understand that. But for whatever reason, the Escatin do not leave.

This small room I sit in is occupied only by Tui as well. Tri and Yef are in the other, even smaller room. In a sense, the four of us have become closer, as well as with some of the Escatin locals, because we are all of the Escatin empire. But I miss Nirs, I miss Lus, I miss Med, I miss my ama and afa, I miss my sister- and of course, I miss Dein.

It is difficult not to think of these people with each passing day, what with the way we have been unwelcome, and in the silence left amongst many of the Escatin here as well.

We trusted messengers have no place here at all, no use.

Each day, Tri and Yef visit the local Escatin and try to reason with them, telling them to stop reacting to the local Avu. They are basically trying to tell them to turn away and be silent when, in fact, the king of their empire was almost killed by underhanded Avu High Commanders. If he were almost killed in war, then they would not react this way. But to know the Avu set up a trap? It is difficult for them not to react.

It is only understandable- even among the believers.

Each day, Tui joins the local healers. Many of them refuse to acknowledge her presence, but one or two will show her some kindness, if only a little. Maybe she is making a difference there. I don't know. I don't like to see the consequences of the constant clashes.

Me? I spend my time in the marketplace, talking with the few Escatin who don't mind my presence, perhaps even welcome it. Some of the Avu are not so hostile. They are few, but they are there.

Perhaps my perspective is skewed. I suspect I'm being pessimistic. Perhaps, even though we can't see it just yet, our presence is making a difference. I sigh silently into the night. I hope. I hope. I pray.

I should try to get some sleep. I should.