Figurehead

forty-six

I look up from the scraps of parchment in front of me when someone knocks on the table's end. Afa smiles at me, a smile of sadness and wistfulness and pure joy. "Have you finalised a design?" he asks, nodding at the scattering of parchments beneath my hands.

I set the nib down, gaze wandering over the different swirling lines of ink. "I think so," I nod, picking one up. The ink is still wet, reflecting firelight. I collect the others, scrunching them up in my hands, and limp over to the hearth at the back of the large room, dropping them into the flames. I stare at the design I've chosen, pressing the lines into my memory- well, trying to, anyway- before letting that fall into the fire too.

I turn back to look at my afa, standing almost at the opposite end of the room. "Time to go. You ready?"

I take a deep breath, flex my fingers and limp back to the table, taking the staff. "Yeah."

He comes up to me, giving me a sideways hug as his right arm loops around my shoulders for support. "I never imagined I'd see you bound to the king," he says with amusement.

"Me neither," I laugh. I haven't seen Dein since being woken at high night.

Not long now.

My pulse is loud and rapid, my fingers clenched tightly around my staff. "Let's go," my afa says, and we go.

Gri joins us as we leave the meeting hall, the doors thudding behind us. He grins. "I haven't seen you for a while."

"A day," I correct him, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugs. "A while," he repeats. "Are you ready, my queen?"

Queen. My pulse stumbles. "Sure," I shrug, taking another uneven breath. Afa squeezes my shoulder gently. "Yeah, let's go."

We head through silent, dimly lit passages that wind and grow narrow, walking through hallways known only to trusted guards, the Escatin family and the serving. We do not speak. And for now, with Gri on my right, I don't have to worry for my afa's safety.

I recognise the door at the end of this last hallway, the one through which Dein led me to the forest, after he woke. We took a different route today, probably only because I can't exactly descend any steps very easily in this state.

We stop. Gri opens the door. Both men look at me with smiles on their faces, and I manage one of my own before we leave the palace and the door shuts behind us.

It is night still, the clouds dark and grey. But here and there, the clouds are thin, paling- Flei is coming, after all. And where the clouds are thin through the canopy, I can glimpse hints of starlight that causes my breath to catch in my throat. When I look down from the sky, expecting long shadows cast over the forest ground, I see a glimmer of firelight. No, not firelight, not quite. Fireflies.

The light moves towards us, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I realise it is a lantern. We don't move forward, and I assume we are waiting for the lantern-bearer.

Tri smiles at me, a hint of sadness in her eyes as she holds up the light. "Nirs loved seeing the flames flitting around in the night. I hope you don't mind that I wanted to do this, for her."

I shake my head. "Of course not." Tri turns and releases the lantern flies. Nirs should have been here, she should have been able to see it herself. I take a breath and we resume walking, letting Tri show us the way. Already the sky is beginning to lighten- but no, it isn't. That's just more fireflies, lighting the way.

More lanterns. More lantern-bearers.

Tui. Lus. Kep. Oed. Juk. Med. I hide my surprise when I see Oan, a lantern gripped tightly in her hands as she grins broadly, although I can see shock in her expression. I smile. I'd be shocked too, if I were in her place. There are others, too. Sret, with Ama next to her. Ama's smile is happy and scared and sad, all at once. Ret is there, with Miek. Fiut and Alip are sharing a lantern, and I wonder who invited them, but I also smile to see them there.