Sunburn (Stevepop)

Ch 11- Ten illegitimate children

Steve pov
His hands were calloused but dainty at the same time, and warm in mine.
"...Right, Soda?"
I tried to look in his moviestar-pretty eyes, but he stared straight down. So many sleepless nights of torment and confusion leading up to this moment, and he's quiet. Quiet! Huh.
When he finally looked back up at me, there were tears rolling down his cheeks.
"I can't do this..." he whispered.
It didn't matter how quiet he said it, those words hit me like a wave, crashing down on me. Really, I almost fell down.
"W... Wait, hey, Soda, don't say that, come on..." I pleaded, trying to smile at him.
He turned from me, wiping his eyes, taking a few steps away from me. A thought popped into my head that those could be his final steps away from me forever. I mean, what if this traumatized him or something, and he leaves forever, or... My thoughts trailed off there.
"No, Steve, I just can't..." he turned to me and tried to slightly chuckle through the tears, and said, "It's my house, my brothers are here-I can't storm out. You have to leave..." Even joking, his voice shook with every word by the end. I hate the way his voice sounds when it shakes like that. I hate the way it sounds saying this stuff.
"Please..." I muttered.
At this point he was just silent, but he stared at me with sad eyes. Moviestar-pretty eyes that watched me, he looked desperate. Desperate for me to leave his house, get out of his sight, take me and my feelings back home and far away from him.
It's just like him to give up on things like this. He told me about the time Darry and Pony were arguing, and he just ran out of the house, halling ass down the street. He gives up and runs away, or makes others run away for him, when things get too real.
I huffed, "Ya know what? Fine. I'll just leave," I stopped at the door and looked back at him sternly, "But I hope you and Sandy and your 10 illegitimate children have a real happy life together, Soda! I'm outta here."

Soda pov
The door slammed behind him. The blurry-with-tears image of Steve looking back me was still fresh in my memory. I wanted to pass out right then and there, but my heart was racing and I couldn't stop thinking if my life depended on it. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed another Pepsi, cracked it open, and walked back to the couch to watch TV. I couldn't possibly pay attention, and my hands shook when I brought the bottle to my mouth. It's been in the fridge and the glass was ice cold against my lips, and even that made me sad. Suddenly there was a figure in the corner of my eye, leaning against one arm on the wall. He stood in the doorway to the hall, silent for just a second before he spoke.
"That. Was. Rough."
"...Ponyboy? What are you still doing up?"
"Soda. I said I was going to bed, not that I was going to sleep," he chuckled, the smartass.
He wore a tee shirt and underwear, and a open-mouth smirk. A half smart, half dumbfounded look.
"Uhh, how much did you hear?"
He sat down next to me, snatched my bottle and took a sip, and teasingly said "ooh nothing."
"Hey, just 'cuz you're my brother doesn't mean I won't sell you to the circus, smartmouth."
He laughed, "I didn't hear anything we don't all already know. Besides Soda, I think you handled the situation great."
Wait- they all already know?
"I did?" I asked curiosly.
"Well, that's just comin' from me, the guy that likes seeing Steve suffer all the time," he laughed again.
"Would you cut that out, Pony! Just tell me straight what you're talking about, c'mon."
"Alright, fine, listen Soda. I say this not as your brother, not even as your friend, but as a member of this gang and thus I have a moral obligation to back Steve up when shit gets real and he's hit bad."
I'm sweating bullets already.
"Look, I'd be damn surprised if by Monday you still had a buddy to go to work with, if you leave him like this," he said matter-of-factly.
"Wo-woah, what are you sayin' here Pony?"
"I'm sayin' look at his history. He's got been on a self-destructive streak for the past 17 years, and he's got, like, less than zero impulse control."
I could barely process what he was suggesting.
"But hey, at least you ain't doing him as bad as Dally is Johnny," he looked off in some other direction and sipped from our Pepsi, "It's just not right, treating someone you love like that..."
I looked at him and put an arm over his shoulder, speaking softly.
"Pony, you're just a kid okay. You just don't under-"
He stood, interrupting me.
"Yeah? Well what do you know? You coulda just jeopardized a decade of friendship with Steve, and for what? To be with Sandy instead? 'Cuz you're scared?" he shook his head with a chuckle, "I don't think you understand. You know Soda, you've got a lot of growing up to do.
I saw him smile. I know he's been dying to tell me that for years and just didn't have an excuse til now. So I let him have it. He's right anyway. I know I hurt him, the feeling in his face was clear as day, and I know how that feels. I feel awful. But I panicked, all I could think about was Sandy and how it would technically be cheating. I know she's cheating on me, but I also know that deep down she's a real nice girl and I couldn't hurt her. And then I brought up Evie in a last-ditch effort to delay dealing with it. Any way to get out of the situation for a little while. But I just had to kick him out. By the time he left I'd made him angry, not just sad, maybe even resentful.
Pony left for bed, and I didn't get any sleep until I passed out on the couch around sunrise.