Only Know You Love Him When You Let Him Go

Four [ch. 4]

When he heard the knock on the door, John jumped up to open it in excitement. Sire, he was nervous. This was his first time being able to talk to Alexander about what had happened. Making sure the bandages on his arms weren't visible, he opened the door, grinning when he saw his Alexander standing there. No. Not yours anymore. He's not yours.

His smile faded when he noticed Thomas standing beside him. "Hey Alex!... Jefferson." He spat the second name out like it was poison on his tongue.

Alexander rolled his eyes at John's tone. "You... Said you wanted to talk?"

John nodded. "Yes..." He looked over to Thomas. "Alone."

Alexander looked to the floor "Oh." He shifted his gaze to Thomas. "I'll be okay." Thomas leaned down to say something to Alexander, John couldn't make out what, but he decided to ask Alexander later. Alexander nodded, then turned back to him while Thomas walked away.

"What did he say?" John asked curiously.

Alexander paused. "Nothing. Now come on, let's get this over with." Alexander proceeded to walk inside and plop on a desk chair, turning to face John's bed while John closed the door and walked to his own bed, sitting so he has facing Alexander.

They sat in silence for a few moments before John broke it with a single question. "Does he make you happy?"

Alexander stared at him in confusion he had no idea what John meant by that. Who was he talking about?

"Don't play dumb." John pulled out his phone, showing Alexander the photo he had taken that morning/ John watched his hace go from confused to angry in moments.

"Where the hell did you get this?" Alexander felt his anger rising as he looked at the photo.

"I came to your dorm to apologize to you this morning. So back to my question. Does he make you happy?" Alexander heard John's voice begin to shake when he spoke, obviously trying to hide his pain and anger.

"Wait do you think-" Alexander noticed another look on John's face while he spoke. Jealousy. "Oh my god! No! It's nothing like that. But still. Even if we were, it doesn't matter to you. You made that clear enough when you just... Left."

John heard Alexander's voice break. Almost instinctively, he moved to hug Alexander. To do something to make him feel better. But almost as soon as his arm made contact with Alexander, he pushed him away. It broke John's heart to see Alexander like this. He looked so weak and vulnerable. "Alexander please..."

"No, John. Do you have any idea the kind of pain you put me through? Yeah. Sure. I've had Thomas and James, and Lafayette and Hercules ended their vacation early to make sure I was okay. Unlike you, they at least tried. Hell, a month ago you would've seen Jefferson and I at each other's throats! But no. When I needed a friend the most, it sadly wasn't me best friend I could turn to. It wasn't my best friend that had my back. It was my goddamn enemy, Laurens."

By the time he had ended his spiel, he had stood up and was in John's face. Alexander knew using John's last name was ow, but still. John wasn't too considerate of how he felt when he just left him at a bar. A damn bar of all places. He looked him in the eye for a moment, before John begun to defend himself.

"Okay. So now I'm just a friend. And thanks for that low blow, Hamilton. You know it's always great when you ask someone to talk so you could make sure they're okay. That maybe they might not need you as much as you thought. But I don't even get you texting me. I get your sorry ass fuckbuddy, who, by the way, Hamilton, is probably just using you."

John realised his mistake as soon as Alexander started crying. But he was right. Despite what he had done to Alexander, he deserved to at least be able to talk to him. He kept going. "Then you have the audacity to bring him here? Sure. Great move. I was hoping. Hoping you were either happy or would be willing to get back together, but apparently not. You damn-"