Only Know You Love Him When You Let Him Go

Alive [ch. 17]

Thomas was the first one to see Alexander's eyes were open. He hopped up from his seat on the side of the bed, rushing over to take his hand. Alexander looked at him with wide eyes, as if he was shocked he was actually there. Thomas gave him a gentle smile, squeezing his hand lightly.

"Do you want me to go get a doctor? Your heart rate has been going insane for the past few weeks. Washington was going to pull the plug in a week or so and- I don't care I'm just so glad you're okay." Thomas hugged Alexander, holding him close. As nervous as Alexander was, he let it happen, seeing as how relieved he seemed to be seeing him.

But then again, the last time someone he cared about left and came back, they turned him into nothing more than merely an object of pleasure and-

His heart monitor was going crazy, and several nurses rushed in to make sure everything was alright. Thomas had stepped away, looking completely broken. Like a child who went to a candy store with their parents, but they didn't get any candy. Or like a puppy kicked by their owner. It was a heartbroken look, and Alexander was able to see it was one he had been wearing for a long time.

What was even real anymore? The doctors seemed genuinely surprised he was awake. Had all that been a dream? Was John actually dead? Alexander felt warm tears start falling down his face. If that was a dream, then Thomas was probably worried sick... and James! What had happened to him?

When he was calmed down enough, the doctors let him be, and when Thomas was able to he attacked Alexander with a bone-crushing hug. Instead of freaking out like he had done previously, Alexander melted into the embrace, enjoying the warmth and familiarity of being in Thomas' arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." Alexander repeatedly muttered, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

Thomas pulled away, looking him in the eyes. "Alex, what are you apologizing for, everything is okay." Alexander shook his head and begun sobbing into Thomas' chest. The immigrant continued to sob, Thomas running his hand through his hair soothingly. "Lexi, please listen to me. It's going to be okay. You are going to be alright. Please. You're one of the last people I have left, Lex, you're strong. You're going to make it through this."

Alexander pulled away a bit, looking up at Thomas with concern in his eyes. "W-where's James? And L-laf?" When Alexander mentioned James' name, Thomas started to cry. Alexander was shocked, hugging his partner and holding him close.

"J-James is dead, L-Lexi. H-he was k-killed and al I d-did was stand and w-watch..." Thomas cried between sobs. "L-Lex, I failed I-I could have saved h-him! He'd-he'd still be h-here!" Alexander shushed him, holding back his own sobs. That didn't matter right now. What mattered was that Thomas was okay.

"Hey, Thomas no everything is going to be okay. I'm sure there was nothing you can do... just please don't leave me. Please..." Alexander felt warm tears falling down his face. They continued to hold each other and cry, Thomas calming down rather quickly and turning his full attention to Alexander.

"It's going to be okay..." Thomas mumbled, unsure if he was saying it more for himself or Alexander. "We're going to be okay..." Alex nodded, pulling away from him and wiping the tears off his face. Behind Thomas, the door opened, Lafayette, Hercules, George, and Martha all rushing in. They all came over, tackling him in a bear hug.

A/N: I'm sorry everyone, But I think I'm going to be stopping this fic. Writing it has become more of a chore than anything, and I'm not really proud of it. I'm currently going through all my fics, and I plan to pull everything down to Two or three fics. I might go through and edit everything, possibly update and revamp it, but now that writing this is a chore and doesn't interest me anymore. Again, I'm sorry, but I wanted to give you all the last little bit. This was the first fic I had ever written, so I know it was shit, and unthought out. I took the idea much farther than intended, so I'll just give you all a brief summary of what was going to happen. I'm also changing it a bit to make it happier.

After fully healing, Alexander discharges from the hospital. Everyone goes back to school and finishes college. Thomas' parents pass near the end of college, so after they finish, Alex and Thomas move to Monticello. Martha and George pass not long after they graduate (both from old age and they have Alex and Laf there.) Since Alexander was with Thomas in Monticello, Laf and Herc move into Mount Vernon. Years later, Alex and Thomas adopt a boy, and he looks shOCkiNGlY similar to John. (spoiler alert, he's named after John and ends up very similar to him.) Laf and Herc adopt a little boy named Georges. Years after Alex and Thomas adopt a little girl named Philippa. Pippa was going to be trans and become Philip. Philip was going to end up with Georges, who, was one of his best friends growing up. John ends up with Theodosia. Alex dies several years before Thomas from illness, but has everyone by his side. Thomas dies of old age with Pip and John there. Laf is killed in a car accident while Georges is about 7. Herc dies of old age as well.