The Boy From California

12. Seek Peace Not Vengeance

"Jackson," I muttered, pulling his jacket closer to my body. He held me in his arms and carried me inside the house. "I'm too heavy, put me down."

"I like having you in my arms," he looked down on me, and I instantly knew the sight of him to everyone else. His sandy-blonde hair would be dangling down, covering his eyes. But to me, in this moment, I let myself swim in his eyes of oceans.

I gave him a weak nod and let myself become loose in his embrace. I played with the fabric at my shirt and chewed on my bottom lip, trying to find something to do. 

Faith fidgeted with the door until it clicked open. We had come back home sooner than anticipated, so her parents were yet to come home. She flicked the lights on and gestured for Jackson to take me upstairs.

"Jackson, I can walk," I looked up at him but only faced his stubble. I sighed, not wanting to feel like more of a burden than I am. He continued on with me and took me to the guest bedroom. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" concern laced his voice as he stood outside my door. I nodded, not trusting my voice. 

He opened the door and placed me on the bed. The velvet duvets and the plush mattress didn't do justice to Jackson's hold. His arms felt like the clouds that companies advertise their mattress' as. I wanted to go back and feel the warmth of his chest to my face. I wanted to feel the rays that radiated from him. 

"Go to sleep, Sierra," his voice was hushed. I sat up on the bed and simply looked at him without a care in the world. For a moment, I didn't care about the hairs sticking to the side of my face because of my mixture of sweat and tears. I didn't care about my runny mascara and the fact that I probably looked like a raccoon. I didn't care about anything but the sky in his eyes and the sun in his trace.

Without thinking, I leaned towards him, my eyes begging to feel the electricity I've only felt from him. He faced towards me, taking my hand into his and intertwining our fingers. And just like that, it was back. 

The feeling. 

His face slowly inched towards mine, making my heart pace in my chest. I was emerged by the softness of his palm. I was hypnotized by not his eyes nor his hair. I was hypnotized by Jackson, as a person.

That's when our lips met. They danced along each other, hand-in-hand. It wasn't because of a game or a dare or any of the sort. It was just two people feeling, two people falling in love.

The citrus taste of his lips met my fruit ones. His arm wrapped around my waist, making me lean into him even more. I didn't think we could be any more close in the moment. He slowly moved back onto the bed, slowly taking me down with him. 

I didn't care about how heavy I was, I just let myself sync with the blonde boy. The way my body felt against his made me feel like I was not a queen, but the queen. 

"Sierra," the huskiness in his voice sent shivers down my spine. I brought my head up and gazed at the boy to continue. "You're the first person I've kissed in two years."

He propped himself up on his elbows, getting a better view of him. Even in the dark, his eyes were glowing like the hottest of fires - but he was cool. He stretched out his palm which I took gladly. 

"C'mon," he pulled open the window and hopped onto the shingles of the roof. I followed him without a second doubt. I trusted him, I trusted him to not let me get hurt.

We sat on the roof of the Campbell household, but god it was so much more than that. It was the throne of not the world, but of the universe. We had the keys to the galaxies and the secrets of the stars. Nobody could get as high as we were because the two of us were the king and queen of the heavens. 

"I want to talk to you," his voice was hoarse. I looked at him with soft eyes.

"So talk to me," I whispered into the sky. "Talk to me about everything and anything."

"You remind me of her," I furrowed my eyebrows together in thought at his words.

"Who is her?"

"My mother," he sounded so full of hurt. I couldn't decipher why. The boy never sounded more vulnerable than he did now and it made my heart ache. "She's dead."

I mustered up the courage to look at him. Silent tears ran down his cheeks that I could make out with just the light of the stars. I took his hand in mine and followed his gaze to the specific star he was focused on.

"She's just like you," he croaked. "Everyone thought she was so full of light and happy-go-lucky, but she wasn't. I should've known by the way her eyes became less bright every single day. The day before she died, they weren't even blue."

My breathe hitched in my throat as he talked about her. I watched the frustration become evident in his face. Besides sad, he seemed more angry rather than anything.

"I bet she'd love you," he chuckled bitterly. I found myself subconsciously rubbing circles on the back of his palm. My head met his shoulder as I leaned against it.

"She was the reason I never got into fights with other kids because she always said to 'seek peace, not vengeance'. And that's exactly what she'd do when that man came home wasted or called my mom another woman's name," his voice was bordering silence as he continued. 

"So she never took it out on me or him. She never took it out on anyone but herself," he broke into tears.

I felt selfish about the tears creeping up my waterline when Jackson was the one who had experienced such heart-ache and all he did in the moment was sob.

"I haven't kissed anyone in two years because when I was dating Delilah, my mom thought she was the one for me. She always believed that we'd end up marrying," his eyes roamed the sky. "But she cheated on me, which left me numb for who knows how long. I didn't have the heart to tell my mom, she was too invested in our relationship."

I watched him trace the stars in his eyes. He continued after a segment of silence.

"So I didn't kiss anyone and planned to not kiss anyone for a long time because if I wasn't going to marry Delilah, I could at least honor her with my last and first kiss."

"Until tonight," a smile crept up his lips. He turned to look at me with a soft expression. "I was so sick of going so long without feeling anything, so I decided to spin it and hope whoever I kissed made me feel anything. Remorse, hope, whatever."

I felt my stomach fuzz up in anticipation in what he was going to say next. Hearing this side of him left me in a trance of empathy for the boy. We may have not gone through the same exact things but I knew exactly what he meant by saying he was numb.

"And god, Sierra," he spoke breathlessly. "That kiss made me feel something I've never felt before."

i have nothing to say 💖

-nahdeeah