you know what's illegal? drugs.
you know what's not illegal, quite the opportunity really, but can have the exact same aftereffects as most drugs?
fucking studying.
i studied for about 5 hours today which is the shortest amount of time i've studied since june 18th.
i am seeing fUCKING stArs in the ceiling being devoured by a black hole and out of the black hole are coming unicorns and elves while singing lose my breath by destiny's child. and i'm sitting on my bed, chilling, it's like i just smoked a shitload of marijuana and i listen to a fade voice coming from upstairs...
i believe it said, stay with me now, i believe it said; quit being on your fucking phone and sleeping all the time, we're going to the supermarket, do you need anything?
fully warning you, there's an outburst that's taking place afterwards, keep your phone as far away from your face. and here we go.
I NEED A FUCKING XANAX TO CALM THE HELL DOWN AND SOME GOOD SLEEP WHICH YOU SO FALSELY ACCUSE ME OF HAVING, WELL NEWSFLASH BITCHES, I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD SLEEP IN WEEKS, I FEEL LIKE IF I LEAVE THE HOUSE, THE FIRST PERSON I'M GOING TO SEE, IT'S GOING TO BE MY FIRST VICTIM, YEAH I SAID VICTIM AND i need some chocolate from the store, thank you.
of course, that capitalized part was never said out loud. i'm currently losing my sanity with everything that's been going on, i'm not gonna loose my house too. i need a place to live.
you know what else i am in deep need of? a day at the sea. don't mistaken me for a person who enjoys being outside, i just know if i stay inside the house, i'm gonna have to get some homework done. this situation is disgusting. it's not even funny anymore -like it ever was, stop trying to be funny- i, -WHO NOW?- i feel the need to go outside. it's such an absurd statement for me to make, i can't believe i'm writing and thinking about it.
at the end of the day, i suggest studying a normal amount, don't go overboard with it. the after effects will not be visible in the near future, they're gonna hit you out of nowhere and you'll have no idea what to do. stay the fuck away from drugs. i mean, we do need at some point to stop pretending everyone is not on drugs but if we, the new generation, quit that bullshit, it's a better future for everyone.
anyway, tanacon ended up not happening, i'm sad as fuck now.
