That smile he shows just for me

Chapter one

I never really thought that people noticed me. I'm not the type of person to be remembered. But I guess he noticed me.
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Getting up in the morning is maybe the hardest part of the day. You know what's coming and it's not good. You have to deal with people who would rather have you dead.
I've once again fallen into what my mom likes to call "the funk". It's when I sleep 24/7. I just can't get up. It's like someone superglued me to my bed.
My mom likes to pretend that our lives are perfect and nothing is wrong. But everything is wrong.
My dad left us because of me. I'm a lot to handle and I drive people away.
My brother comes into our room and starts yelling. "Get up Gray. We have school in ten minutes. I'm not dealing with this shit today."
I love my older brother, don't get me wrong. It's just that he doesn't get what my brain does. My brain is messed up I suppose.
I throw my blankets off and head to the bathroom with my clothes.
I wear the same outfit almost every day. A grey hoodie, black T-shirt and faded jeans. We aren't exactly a high class family.
One story house, two bedrooms, a kitchen/living room and a bathroom.
I walk outside to find my brother, Justin, with his skateboard. "Let's Go we're Gunna be late."
I grab mine and we skate off to school.
Imagine walking into school having this weight on your chest. This feeling of dread and loss. You hurt all day and there's nothing you can do about it.
That's how I feel.
"Catch ya later bro." My brother pats my back. He's a senior and I'm a sophomore.
Walking to my locker I spot him. His name is Lukas. He's in my grade and he's totally hot. But he's straight. And hella popular.
"Watch out faggot". I was too busy staring at Lukas this dude pushes me into the lockers. Mike. He's an asshole and hates my guts.
Lukas makes eye contact with me while talking to his friends. Just for a second we see each other. Then he's gone.
And I continue on with my day.
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By the time lunch roles around I'm ready to die. Or go home. Either one will do. No way am I going to the cafeteria. I never do. My anxiety would spike to an all time high. So, I go outside into the courtyard.
It's a windy day out, making it a little too cold for my liking. The trees are dead. Leaves scatter the grass. I like this time of year.
The bell rings, signaling lunch is over and it's time to move on with the day.
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"Do pages 23-25 for tomorrow." Mrs green yells over the bell. Finally the end of the day. I go outside and wait for Justin to show. I see his head over the crowd and looks like he's leaving without me. Asshole.
I grab my skateboard and walk down the stairs. And look who I bumped into. Lukas.
"Shit sorry." I apologize
"Don't sweat it dude." Lukas smiles at me.
Is he ever not smiling?
I go to walk away but he grabs my wrist. "Grayson right?"
"Yeah." I smile up at him.
"I'll see you around gray." Then he walks away.
I don't know how to handle this. He talked to me. And he knew my name. He actually saw through to me.
Shaking my head, I skate home.