That smile he shows just for me

Chapter eight

He likes my laugh. And I like his smile. And I don't think there's anything better than him.
I smile back at him and look at my lap.
"You should probably sleep. Do you want me to leave?" He asks, unsure of himself.
"No. I mean you can stay." I blurt out.
Smiling, he nods.
I lay down and cover up, leaving enough room for him. He lays beside me, our faces an inch apart.
"You're so beautiful." He whispers.
"No I'm not."
His eyebrows scrunch together. Placing his hand on my cheek, ice pack long forgotten, I nuzzle into his hand. I close my eyes.
"Yes you are."
I smile. And then I fall asleep.
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I wake up by 5 pm. Lukas sound asleep, his arm draped over my waist, my back pressed against him.
I could get used to this.
But I decide I should probably wake him up. "Lukas." I say shaking his shoulders.
"Hm?" He doesn't move. Eyes closed.
"It's like five. We should probably get up." Now I'm sitting on my bed, a little ways from him as to not freak him out when he saw the position we were in. I don't know where he stands with his sexuality.
"Oh shit." He sits up and wipes his eyes. He sees me and smiles. "I didn't realize I fell asleep."
"It's ok." I smile back at him.
"I should probably get going. But will I see you tomorrow?" He asks hopefully.
"Definitely."
We walk out to the door and I see him out. He waves wile driving away.
Going back in the house, my brother is sitting on the couch looking back at me.
"What?" I ask not ready for his shit.
"Nothing." He looks back at his phone. "He your boyfriend?"
"No. We're friends."
"Didn't think you had friends." He scoffs.
"Well I have him." I roll my eyes and walk into the kitchen. I'll heat up some soup.
"Why can't you be normal? You make everything so hard." Justin says.
"So me liking guys is a problem for you?"
"It's your life."
"But you don't like it." I walk to stand in front of him.
"No I don't like it."
"Figures. You don't like anything about me." I mutter, putting the soup away.
I don't feel like eating anymore.
Nothing is good about me. And that sucks.
I feel like I can't ever be enough. But Lukas likes me. At least I think he does.
I need to clear my head. Going outside, the sun is setting and it's beautiful. Perfect photo. Posting it on insta, I sit on the steps. I like to see people who like my work. It makes me feel important.
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Later that night, I hear the door open and two loud, drunken voices. I tiptoe downstairs so I'll go unnoticed. I see my mom with a man. Both very drunk.
I think tomorrow I'll go to school. Lukas seems to miss me there. I don't know why. But I also don't want to stay home. My mom is having a manic episode. I can tell because she brings men home a lot during the episode.
Signing, I lay in bed, listening to Two Feet radio, and go to sleep.