❤Gwen's Bio❤

sometimes

Sometimes

I wish

I could fly

I would sit on the clouds

And sit there as I cry

My pain away

Would they miss me? 

Would he think of me?

Would she notice me gone?

I wish

I could delve into the invisibility that I feel

Would I eavesdrop on those who seemed to care about me, to know that they were true?

Or would I disappear into the nothingness that I feel

Would they say good things? 

Would they say bad things? 

Or worse, would they say

Nothing at all

I wish

I could absorb the pain

Of others

So they wouldn't feel the way I do

But I would feel their pain

As if I deserve it

Would I scream over the loud, inescapable voices?

Would I sink under the weight of everyone else?

Or would I be selfless, taking on the responsibility of the human race

I wish

I could touch the pain away

With a hug

A kiss

A tap

A nudge

Would they love me more or less?

Would I love myself more or less?

Would Buddha think more of me?

Would I still feel faithful to my loved ones

I wish

I could feel

Nothing at all

So I could not care

Not love

Not feel

Would I still feel the pain that I suffer through every second of every day?

Would I still break down in the middle of the night, waking up my roommate, apologizing for waking her, hating myself?

But I would still kiss my skin with razors

Just to feel something