Marvel imagines~

I am sorry-Loki

I always knew I shouldn't get close to The God of Mischief.
Everyone warned me so many times.

I know that with Loki you never know  which page you are on. After all,he is the God of Illusions,Mischief. 
He could trick me anytime he wants to. 
I don't know why am I even worrying? I had no chance with Loki.After all,he hates everyone.Especially me.
..He thinks I am just an annoying Midgardian girl,who should know where is her place.
And for him,that really is deep down,under the Earth surface.Burried.Dead.

I don't know what triggered him so much.When he just came,I really tried avoiding him as much as I could. I talked to him only to ask if he needs something,and that's just one sentence per day,because he would always say no and instantly I would leave.

I really don't know what.
He also always tricks me.Daily.He destroys my thing,acting like he didn't know what are they for.
He is always trying to make my life a living hell.
Sometimes,others from team would stand up and speak to him. They would ask him what on hell is going on. But Loki's cold face expression ,and no answer was always an answer to their questions. So eventually they all gave up.
He would sometimes pull jokes on others,but I was his target.

2am:
I walked out on the balcony,rest my hands on the balcony fence and sighed.
The night was beautiful.
Full moon,so many stars,bit cold but it didn't bother me.I was so lost in my thoughts.
I took all the things Loki did to me as joke,after all he is the Trickster.Until that one thing.
That one thing that hurt me so bad.Made me re-think all my acts.That made me insecure about myself. That little seed he planted in my brain that grew big  now,after two years.
 
"Thoooooor come and get iiiiiit" I shouted and giggled. I took his favourite mug.
I love teasing him like this. He is like my big brother ,so I know anything I do won't get him mad.At least not for too long.
"YYY/NNNN come baaack I can't run " he grumbled behind me. I ran back to the kitchen and climbed one of the kitchen chairs ,so when he finally made his way back to the kitchen and stood in front of me,I was slightly taller than him.  I took mug in my right hand and put it above my head. 
" Midgard! I am,the Great Y/N ,Odindaughter" I said as we both broke into laughter. He pulled me from the chair and put me over his shoulder,grabbing his mug from my hand. Tony and Steve also walked in,in deep discussion as it seemed to me,followed by Natasha and Bruce. We all knew they had feelings for each other but they kept it private. 
"God of Thunder,I think you just caught the biggest lightning" said Tony,making his way toward the coffee machine.
"Well Tony now it's time for this lightning to go and move with its clouds to gym and let me drink my coffee in peace with some sun " he giggled . I hit him on the back and started laughing.
"Put me down and I will show you thunder I can produce,oh God of Thunder" I replied and we all broke into laughter. But then...that cold voice.
"What do you think you are doing?"
They all turned their faces towards the living room,and Thor slowly put me down.
Loki.
My heart stopped.
"Oh Mr.Grumpy sorry that we choose to actually have some fun here,with friends." said Tony.
"Oh Tony please,he doesn't know what friends are" I replied and everyone started laughing.I only said it as joke,but his cold eyes fixed on me.

"Repeat.What did you say?  You? Worthless Midgardian. Nothing in compare to me.God." he said as he walked towards me. Now his face was only inches from mine,and I could feel his breath on me.
"You have no rights to insult me.You should be scared of being in the same room as I am. No powers,no special abilities.Worthless.Annoying.Little.Midgardian. Also,where are your parents? No wonder why they left you love,with you being such a narciss and begging for attention all the time. Happines found the way to their lives the moment they left you." 

I just stood there.In shock. I won't allow him seeing me cry. I won't satisfy him like that. But,it hurt me.Every single word he said. I felt numb in the moment. I heard Thor speaking up at the same time as Tony : "Man you crossed the line. Loki what on Earth was that for?". 
Natasha walked over to me,putting her hand on my shoulders but I quickly backed away.

"It's okay." I replied and hurried towards my room.Walking by Loki,I could see the smirk on his face.

I felt hot tears as I pulled back from the memory. If I only didn't say that.Maybe he wouldn't hate me as much as he hates me now. But I guess we will never know,because since than he hates me to the core . And nothing could change that. Since then,I backed away. I became quit,because his words got to my brain.Worthless annoying Midgardian. And it killed me. I let myself cry everything out.I was now sitting on the floor of the huge balcony,allowing myself to cry as much as I want to because everyone was asleep. 
But I heard footsteps.
"You." 
My jaw dropped. I quickly  wiped away my tears and tried not making an eye contact,because my eyes were really red from crying. I didn't want Loki to see my crying.Over him.Over  another one of mine faults. Worthless. I stood up ,looking at the floor and tried walking away as fast as I could.
But he grabbed me by my arm and pulled back in front of me.
"What are you doing here this late?" he asked.I still kept my eyes fixed on the floor,not answering.
"Not answering?Not looking at me? I see you learnt your lesson girl. You never go against the God hims-Oh look at me when I am talking to you" he said and he pulled my head harshly.And now my eyes,red from crying were facing his. And I looked away.He let my head.
"You.You are crying." he said,now I could hear slight change in his tone. And his face expression changed,from ruthless and cold to now,someone would say -worried.
I still stayed silent.I will stay silent until he lets me go.I learnt that.
"Reply me.Now" he said.
He wants me to reply? Oh.Okay.I will.
"I thought worthless Midgardians who are nothing special are not allowed to talk with Gods."I replied,slightly smiling while tears were again rolling down my cheeks.
He was silent for few moments.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. Silly thing,He doesn't even remember something that keeps me awake every damn night,
"I am just worthless girl ,under feet of beloved God.Now,e-exuse me I am going to bed" I said and tried walking away again,but again being stopped by Loki catching me by my wrist,tightly.
I felt sharp pain on the place he held my wrist. 
"Stop it and let me go .It hurts" I said as I tried to remove his hand from mine. But he was too strong,way stronger and bigger than me.
"No until you tell me what is going on Y/N". He used my name. But I refused,still pulling away and trying to escape his grip. Then.He let me ,which caused me tripping back and hitting the wall hard. He walked towards me,not too slow,nor too fast.
"A-Are you okay?" he asked.
"Get away from me. You know nothing.Nor do you care.And don't even try.I don't know what kind of trick this is but I don't even care.Just let me be.A-and stay in your lane,above my worthless lane under your feet." I hissed as I tried standing up.
He got closer and tried helping me but I pushed him away.  He caught me by my both wrists and fixed in place. 
"It is YOU who know nothing! You think I don't care? You think I have no heart? You think I have no emotions ? Well ,you are wrong. VERY wrong. I am half human,I have heart,I know how to love.I can feel pain. Damn you! Couldn't you see through everything I did? All those things I did to you,were to keep you away from me. Knowing I bloody can't make you happy and you can never be safe with me because whole galaxy hates my guts. To keep you safe,I had to keep you away from myself. Don't even ask how hard was it ,how painful was it .I thought you will get over it after few months. I did that for your best!" he replied and his blue eyes changing to colder shade.
I stayed silent.Just watched him.But then anger boiled in me.
"You did all that because you LOVED ME? Humiliated me every single damn day,made my life living hell just to keep me away from you? Is that love? Is THAT love?" I asked crying even more. I tried pulling away from his grip,because the hot pain on my wrist was now unbearable. 
"And ,for the love of galaxies, you are hurting me!" I screamed. He let my hands and I fell on the floor,crying and shaking.All my emotions mixed. And I heard words I thought I would never hear from him.

"I am sorry Y/N. I really am.For everything.But because I love you I thought the best thing is to keep you away from myself. I am so messed up and you deserve much more and someone who could make you always happy." he said while kneeling next to me.
"But I never wanted anything more.All I wanted was you,and I could accept everything that comes along." I replied. Now he took my hands gently in his.
"Please forgive me and allow me to fix my mistakes. Please." 
I thought for few seconds ,and than ,I threw myself in his hug. His hands slowly wrapped round my waist.

"I love you so much Y/N ." he said.
 
I love you too.