Losing You

Writing Dreams

I looked at Andy and handed him a notebook and a pen. I grabbed the piano bench and dragged it over. We sat down on the bench, and scooted close together, so we could write down some ideas.

"Hey, um... I was thinking about what you said, and was thinking that it'd be nice to have someone there for me, even if they're not actually there in person. Maybe we could write a song about someone who has had a rough past, but the person singing the song is promising to always be there for them. I just guess thats a fantasy of mine..."

He looked at me and smiled. "I think that's a great idea."

We talked for about an hour about tweeks and fixes here and there, and eventually finished the song. It whent a bit like this:

I never meant to be the one,
Who kept you from the dark.
But now I know my wounds are sewn,
Because of who you are.

I will take this burden on,
And become the holy one.
But remember I am human,
And I'm bound to sing this song.

So hear my voice,
Remind you not to bleed.
I am here,

Savior,
Will be there,
When you are feeling alone, oh,
A savior,
For all that you do,
So you live freely without their harm.

So here I write my lullaby,
To all the lonely ones.
Remember as you learn to try,
To be the one you love.

So I can take this pen,
And teach you how to live,
What is left unsaid,
The greatest gift I give.

So hear my voice,
Remind you not to bleed,
I am here.

Savior,
Will be there,
When you are feeling alone, oh,
A savior,
For all that you do,
So you live freely without their harm.

Savior,
Will be there,
When you are feeling alone, oh,
A savior,
For all that you do,
So you live freely without their harm,

When I hear your cries,
Praying for light,
I will be there.

When I hear your cries,
Praying for light,
I will be there.

I will fight!
I will always be there!
I will fight!

We decided to name the song Savior, the message behind the song being to never give up. There's always someone who will be there for you, even when you think there isn't. It may take a while to find that person, but in the end, you'll find them.

Andy looked into my eyes and smiled. I stayed there for a moment, and then turned away. I didn't want him to get too close to me. I made a promise to myself. I'd never let that happen again.

"Y/n, I was wondering, only if you want to, but, can you tell me a bit about your past?"

"There's not much to tell...not, really... But I guess I could tell you."
(By the way, these are events that have actually happened in my life, though things have gotten better. If you get teary eyed easily, skip this part, though it's pretty essential to the story.)

"When I was younger, my family was like a blanket, but it was ripped to shreds. I got told so many stories, I honestly didn't know which one to believe. As a baby, I lived with my grandpa and his wife. Not really my grandma, but that's what I referred to her as. I lived with them for about 4 years, until I went back to live with my mom, and grandma. She was actually related, to my mom. When I turned 7 I asked about my past, from both my mom, "grandma" and dad. They told me different stories. Mom's was that they took me away from her until they won me back over in court. And my grandma's was that she gave me up. My dad didnt really have anything to say in the matter except that my mom wasn't a good person. When I was 6, the day before my birthday, I got told that my grandfather had passed away. I spent my birthday in a funeral home, crying. At the time, my grandma on my mom's side was the closest person to me in life. I loved her more than anything. She passed away a few months after I was raped, at seven. I watched her die. It was like having my heart ripped out of my chest." I cried, not knowing if I could continue.

Andy puts an arm around me, and I lean on his shoulder.

"You don't have to continue, if you don't want to."
I looked at him, "no, it's okay. Ill keep going."

I faintly smiled and finished my story. "After that, my grandmother's husband threw me, my mom, and my brother out on the streets, so my mom called my dad and asked him to take care of us, and he accepted. We lived with him for about a year, visiting Mom every other weekend until she got back into her feet. My dad had two boys of his own at the time, and they came over every other weekend that we weren't at my mom's house. One day, she got a house of her own, and her ex, his girlfriend, and my sister were all staying there as well. I was only supposed to go there for a weekend, but my mom had taken advantage of my black eye and kept me for three weeks. My stepmom was about to have her first kid, and her blood pressure was through the roof because she was worried about us, so she went into early labor. Mom and dad were going back and forth in court until finally, my dad got custody of me. He didn't get custody of my brother though, because he wasn't his kid. My mom abandoned me, and I never heard from her again. The last Time I heard from her, I was 12. My sister had moved to Utah, making me bully myself, telling myself that I wasn't worth it because I couldn't even take care of two siblings that I had gone through everything with. I couldn't protect them. I called myself a failure, because I made a promise to them, that I'd never leave their side. But I was pushed away, forced from talking to them, until one day, I got on Google plus, and found my sister's stepmom's email. I asked her what my sister's phone number was, and I finally got to speak to her for the first time in years. I cried when I heard her voice on the other end of the line. I had been cutting because I had also been being physically and verbally bullied. I still have scars from glass someone threw at me. I was going through a lot at the time, and I ended up loosing my closest friend, again, being forced not to see her, or talk to her. I soon found out, when I was 13, that my mom was being avicted, and was wanted for arrest. I had also found out that my brother was being beaten by his father. And since I had been through that, when my father was drunk, I cut myself again. I have always hurt myself because of the fact that I've never had the chance to give my siblings the life that they wanted. Fuck mine. I ended up having two baby brothers by my stepmom, and started to call her mom, when I got closer to her. Then, I found your music, and instantly fell in love. Then I was curious to know what you looked like, so I looked you up, and saw some of your quotes. They made me cry. A lot of your songs did too. I'm so glad I got the chance to meet you. But I'm 24 now, and I doubt you really care about what happened from 13 to now. Because in all honesty, it's just basically going to school, being bullied, and coming home. I got kicked out multiple times, and soon found f/n, who provided me with a home." I wiped my tears from my face.

Andy looks at me with sympathy. "Don't ever feel like you have to hurt yourself because someone or something that has hurt you. You can't control everything. But listen. When people hurt you over and over again, think of them as like Sandpaper. In the end, you come out polished, and they become useless. I'm sorry all of that happened but you can't let it stop you from living the life you want to live. You're stronger than you think." He got up and hugged me. We stood there for a few more minutes until I broke the silence.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm always here for you if you need me."

I looked at the clock that was on the wall, and looked at the time. It was 5:26 PM. Wow, he's been here for an entire day.

"Hey, it's getting late, do you want to stay, or do you want to get back to the bus? I can cook dinner for you if you do decide to stay."

He looked at me and laughed a bit. "Yeah, i'll stay the night, but I'm probably going to have to go at like, 3 tomorrow."

"That's okay, we'd still have time to do stuff before then haha. What do you want to eat for dinner?"

"Hmm... How about grilled cheese and bacon?" His face lit up as he said it.

"Grilled cheese and bacon? You're a weirdo too? Yay!" I start to cook, and f/n walks through the door with tears running down her face, and she's screaming my name.
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Hehehe cliffhanger!
Sorry that was the longest chapter I have ever posted in my life, but I hope you guys liked it! A blinding total of 1,633 words. Btw every word that I said in here about the past, was something that has happened in my life. It was hard not to cry while writing this, but I enjoy pleasing my audiences. Vote, comment, and have a wonderful day!