Losing You

Performance

^^^This song is so true. Just listen to the lyrics. At first it sounds brutal but if you're watching the video and listening to it, you'll understand.^^^

After my chat with Em, I felt it best that I tell Andy after his show. It was 6PM now, and we had two hours until it starts.

Remington was screwing around with Sebastian, Jake, and CC. Emerson was off with Shy, probably listening to french music and dancing, or sketching in his journal lost in his own thoughts, watching the world around him dissolve into a void that is fully compacted with his own beautiful and imaginative thoughts, beyond what a normal being would dare to explore, for they might be too horrified of what they might find.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Andy, kissing me and pulling me back into reality.

"The beauty has awoken!" He exclaimed, raising his arms dramatically as he looked up to the black hood of the tour bus, a look of excitement in his dark, crystal blue eyes.

I smiled, and stood, grasping his face in my hands, pulling him down to look into his beautiful eyes, as he wrapped his muscley arms around my back, and leaned in to kiss me. He deepened the kiss, and I started to think of how life would be like if we stayed this way, in each other's grasp, knowing that the other will be there for one.

But what if I'm wrong?

"Wrong about what?" Andy asked.

I said that out loud?

"Nothing," I said. Everything. I leaned into his chest, and we swayed back and forth for a while.

What if I'm wrong about him? What if, deep down, he knows that he still is in love with Juliet? What if he one day leaves me, because he knows she's more deserving than I am?

I pulled away, and put on a strong smile, and told Andy that I had to use the restroom.
(Trigger warning)

Walking towards the bathroom, I let a tear fall down my face. I grabbed a pencil sharpener, and continued walking. When I got to the door, I pulled it open, then closed and locked it behind me. I took my shirt off, letting it fall to the floor, and then unbolted the blade from the plastic. I traced the blade with the tip of my finger. I pulled a paper towel off of the rack above my head, and layed it on the counter.

I looked at myself in the mirror, placing the blade on my side.

Worthless.

One.

Useless.

Two.

Unlovable.

Three.

Dishonorable. Fuck up. Piece of shit.

Four. Five. Six.

I put the blade down, and slid to the bottom of the wall, gripping my hair, silently screaming. I let the tears fall.

I jumped when I heard a soft, yet somewhat nerve racking knock on the door, and a voice on the other side, asking if I was okay.

I shuffled across the room, rushing to put my shirt on.

"I'm fine, im just fixing my makeup!," I said, feeling a streak of blood flow down the side of my body.

I quickly got up, thanking Satan that my pants were red, and grabbed the white towelette. I placed it against my freshly made cuts, memories coming back of what got me here in the first place.  I looked at myself in the mirror in disgust; what am I, what have I become?

An idiot. A monster. A narcissist. A fool.

I fixed my smeared mascara and eyeliner, and made it better. I made it to where my eyes were clear before opening the door to go back into the bus.

(It's okay now)

"Hey, are you okay? It sounded like you were crying." Jinxx said, walking behind me, and parting directions when he got to the couch to sit down.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it was probably just me mumbling to myself." I replied, sitting across from him in the "kitchen" table booth.

"Andy went out to test the mic, he'll be back in a few." Jake barged, walking past us and out of the bus.

"Okay then...?" I said, with a confuzzled look on my face. "I'm gonna go get my camera ready, I'm broke and need a job, so photography is great, because my boyfriend is in a band that loves to headbang, and getting clear pictures is gonna be a lil' bit confusin'." I said with a fake country accent.

*Time skip to show because oh Frankie!*

Andy was getting the crowd fired up, as there seemed to be thousands of people there. I got inbetween the stage and the bouncers, and began taking pictures. The first was of Andy, smiling with his arms in the air. Then, I took one of the crowd, and a few more of the band.

Andy finished a song, which I think was about his fifth on the setlist, and he paused.

"Alright guys, I know you guys know about Juliet and I, we're no longer together, and have grown apart. But I would like to welcome a beautiful girl to the stage, in which I am proud to call my girlfriend!" He roared into the microphone, beckoning me to the stage. I climbed up, and shook my head.

"What are you doing?!" I whisper-shouted.

"You'll see." He simply stated.

"I met this wonderful woman in the hospital, she had received a few tweets from me beforehand, but she ended up severely injured later on. I was in the area, and her friend texted me, via Instagram, that she was in the hospital, so I came to visit. We kept in touch, and here we are now."

I put my hands over my face, blushing and smiling like a mad man.

"She wrote a song with me, and helped record one as well. She's gonna help me perform those for you tonight!" He held the microphone up high, and a crew worker backstage gave me one as well. I smiled nervously, having not performed in front of so many people before in my life.

"This song is called Savior!"

And we sang. We sang it from our hearts, and that is what gave us a great show.

After we sang Savior and Lost It All, I tried to get offstage, but Andy pulled me back in, kissing me and then letting me go. The crowd went nuts.
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I'm SO sorry for not updating sooner, I've been so busy with volleyball, basketball, archery, beta, academic, band, choir, and cheerleading, that I haven't had ANY spare time. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT! 🖤🖤🖤