An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 2 - Communication or the Lack Thereof

          Communication is a rather broad topic if you think about it. How many situations can you think of in which you communicate verbally?

            While verbal communication is part of it the rest is strictly non-verbal. Things like your posture, facial expressions, and even what you do with your arms and hangs factors into what you are communicating.

            However, it’s communication in which those with Asperger ten to have trouble with. With people who have AS, they prefer to not communicate as often. They might be the ones labeled a “wall flower” in high school that just stood off to the side while everyone else was talking.

            At its very core, AS is a social disorder. When situations arise for communication, there can be a level of anxiety or even fear before I even get there especially if it’s a situation I haven’t been in before. More often than not, when I’m faced with another family gathering that isn’t a typical holiday or birthday I actually dread going. Its not that I hate my relatives at all but that I all ready know what’s ahead of me and what they will expect of me and how drained I’m going to be afterwards.

            To better explain more about the communication aspect here, I will draw a bit on a post I typed up for a blog I run in which I talk about situations in my life, as they happen, in which being an Aspie played a part or something in relation to AS or disorders in general that struck me in some way.

            I had come across a list someone had posted about myths about people who at Introverts. After reading it, the idea occurred to me that, although they don’t know it, there are people who know what having Asperger’s Syndrome is like.

            Introverts and Aspies. Those two terms are more interchangeable than most people think. Some people that have Asperger are thought to just be introverts and vice versa.

But what is true is that Asperger is a social disorder. Like a saying I once heard that I will now edit for my own purposes: All Aspies are introverts but not all introverts are Aspies.

So then I decided I needed to cover the list from the perspective and this is what I came up with.

Myth Number 1 - Aspies don't like to talk.

Here is a prime place to start. Yes, Asperger is a social disorder and those with it tend to avoid social situations in which they would have to talk with people.

However, that doesn't mean that they don't like to talk or won't ever talk.

With the majority of situations I've been in, the conversations around me I tend to look at from a logical perspective. Or rather too logical. I have little time or concern for who is dating who in popular media. Who the US is going to war with. Idle gossip about so and so's friend dating so and so. Etc Etc. You get the picture.

During those times, I can feel my eyes start to glaze over and I forget to look attentive and interested because in my head...why should I be? Most people have told me they hate being lied to and for me that gets taken literally and I'm naturally too honest in every situation. Lately, I've tried to tone that down when it's appropriate and try to be more attentive even when the subject is just not something I'm into but my friend or family member is.

On the flip side of that, you get me talking about movies, books, music, stories and I'm in. This doesn't mean I'm all gun-ho for going to art galleries but I like art and movies and the like and some times people are hard pressed to get me to realize I'm now dominating the conversation. In a way, I haven't been talking this whole conversation and finding something I can actually talk about is like releasing the steam off a valve or a tea kettle or something. It all just starts pouring out because I want to be part of the conversation.