An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 7 - Personal Time

   It’s time to switch gears a bit. Getting out is a vital time for an Aspie to learn things they can’t in other environments. It’s a bit like going to school every time you step out the door. Sometimes it’ll review things you’ve all ready faced. Or you’ll have to learn something completely new. Yet, even school eventually ends. There may be homework to deal with and chores to do. After all your work is done now you have some time to do the fun things you like to do.

For Aspies, this period of time is just as crucial as getting out in the world. Why? Because, all Apies need what I’ve heard called “a cool down time”. When they are out, they have limited places to go. Once they come back to that one place they feel in control whether it’s their bedroom, a library, or somewhere else, they will start off slow. When they have settled down their ruffled feathers, this is a time that their true can truly shine.

To give an example, I’ll explain about my personal time to show why it’s important. When I get home from somewhere, my parents have learned that it’s time where I go back to my room alone for a while. When my dog lets me, I close the door ever to give myself the benefit of physically and mentally closing the door on my outing. It lets me cool down my brain that was working on overdrive.

Once I’m back in my room, I tend to gravitate towards a couple of things depending on my day. If it wasn’t too stressful, those are the day I find I can sit down and write on a story, draw a picture, or chat with my friends online. I still have enough mental energy to cope with conversation in this form because it’s not face to face and I can be in my comfiest clothing. Eventually, thought, that engine might run down and I’ll drop back to something like video games because of the lack of mental effort it takes.

Now on the flip side of that, the rough day. If I was out too long, if there was too much talking, or if it was too loud, then there is really only one thing on my mind. When I get those comfy clothes on, sometimes I even skip that step; I plop right down into my bed. I may just doze or I might even fall asleep for a few hours. Just like sleeping at night recharges your brain, sometimes an Aspie just needs to take a nap.  Thus why it’s hard for some Aspies to hold down jobs.

When I rise from my nap, it’ll take me a little while to get going but soon I’ll be ready to do the other things I need or want to do. While this does take a large chunk out of my day, should I ignore this need, I have inevitably found myself in tears from the overload.

So this personal time is crucial for Aspies for a few reasons:

1)      unloading the mind

2)      relaxation

3)      to have their own brand of fun

4)      to let them be their unadorned selves

5)      allow them to be in control

An Aspie’s personal time, might look odd from the point of view of someone that’s outside it all and looking in. The person might be more animated, motivated, talkative, and practically outgoing. It’s natural to wonder why they aren’t like that out in public.

Well, Aspies tend to be more private people. They rarely let someone into their world to see what they are really like. All the layers and walls they have built up around them out of fear and/or protection have officially fallen away. This is their true self.

This actually beings me back to the list of myths that I put the Aspie spin on. Here are some more from that list that pertain to this topic.