An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 10 - Bullying

In the news these days, it seems like at least one of the top stories is about a child being bullied or a bullied child taking his or her out on their parents, friends, or school. There is even bullying in the work place, the general public, and even online that no one seems even remotely concerned about. Everyone has an opinion on bullying and what should be done to stop it or prevent it. Some say the kids need to be taught a lesson and some say it’s the parents who need to take better care of their kids. While all of this discussion is going on, very little is actually being done to deal with the underlying issues around bullying and all its various forms.

There are a lot of people who don’t see things like cyber bullying to be that harmful. If it’s over the internet, then no one can really get hurt. Right? While there aren’t physical fist fights on the internet, the things said there can be more graphic and emotionally harmful because there are no filters over instant messengers. The people are all in completely different places and they don’t have to look at the person’s face that they are being rude to. Bullying for the modern age of self conscious people who just stare at computer screens.

Aspies can get the brunt of bullying in their schools. Once someone hears the words Asperger’s Syndrome then they seek a definition because no one really knows what it is. Then, the word Autism is uttered. Suddenly, the switch is flicked and the negative connotation of that word starts to come out of people’s mouths. I’ve seen it countless times on the internet where people talk about how stupid or retarded autistic people are. Oh just for the sake of pointing out something:

re·tard 

verb

1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

2. to be delayed.

noun

3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

The negative connotation of that word had leeched so far into society that most people don’t know what the word really means. When you say someone is retarded, while the modern definition of that word is something disparaging, you are actually just saying they are making slow progress. Slow progress is still progress.

This is how bullying can begin for an Aspie. With just the simple knowledge passed around about something most kids in school don’t even know the first thing about. In essence, that’s why it happens. People tend to fear the things they don’t understand. They have to analyze it and figure out why it’s happing. In high school and beyond, most people won’t take the time to really figure anything out. They go with a gut reaction to the word as they heard it or were taught it.

And there are any number of other ways bullying can start. It could be the clothes you are wearing, the glasses you have to wear to see, the people you talk to, or even an accidental slip of the tongue when you say something you didn’t intend to be rude but it was taken that way. With Aspies, that could have even been the first time they decided to speak up amongst their peers and it back fires on them. Some can bounce back from it and others have a hard time coping with what they perceive as cruel.

I remember a while back when a young man took a gun to school and started shooting everyone, even those friends that had been nice to him. Afterwards, the news was stating that they had discovered that the man had been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome a while back and had faced bullying in school. A backlash of comments spread across the air waves and the internet. Some people rallied behind the idea that bullying needs to be addressed so there’s not more of this happening. Others went on the opposite route and ranted and raved about how having that diagnosis isn’t a reason to go shooting up a school of people. That he was just as guilty as any other gunman.