An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 11 - Awkward Moments

As an Aspie, life is going to be full of awkward moments. You say something that came out wrong and people laugh. You miss the obvious and people look at you like you are dense. Your attention might even go elsewhere and you will stumble and fall over something right in front of you. Being awkward is very nearly a constant state for people with Asperger's Syndrome. That comes with also being afraid that you will say or do something to shine a spotlight on yourself at an inconvenient time. Each day can be plagued with places that you will, figuratively, fall on your face and then left with the aftermath.

For most people, they can take this in stride. They will make it a joke. Laugh it off. Be sarcastic. Any number of things that will make it seem like they meant to do that whether they did or not and everyone will believe them. They take that odd moment in stride and accept their weird moment and move on with their lives. The moment will pass in a blink of an eye and it will be as if it never even happened.

This is something many people on the varied Asperger Syndrome scale can't do for themselves. Sometimes, they don't know they did it. They have missed something. Their joke was actually an "inside joke" and no one has any idea how to react. Once that aftermath hits, they need a longer recovery period so it can be nearly impossible just to bounce back and act like they meant to do that. Their mind will slide out of control like a car on an icy road and they might try and overcorrect to fix it but that only makes the situation worse and worse. This can be all the worse if it happens in front of people they are trying to impress like a guy or girl they like or a possible employers. Sometimes, even close friends of an Aspie who know what's going on can be left feeling lost as to what to do or say. For the Aspie, every doubt will fly across their faces and prove that they really hadn't meant to do that and clearly don't know what to do to fix it.

So what should you do if something like this happens? How can you bounce back from something like this? Is there really any way to fix it?

Don't worry; it's not a hopeless situation. There is a way to bounce back and it will take practice to get just right but it is doable. Just know that awkward moments are a part of life for everyone and each person has to learn how to deal with it in their own way.

Let's say for instance you've said the wrong thing. Now, this could mean you've let your mouth run away with you again and you've said something that was floating around in your mind and it has nothing at all to do with what is going on around you. This could also mean that you've said something that does make sense to you, that is on topic but someone takes it wrong and gets upset or angry.

As for that first situation, if you've just randomly said something that's on your mind there are a few things you don't want to do. Number one, don't try and fix it with more words from your head randomly. They will not make any more sense than what you've just said. It will serve to confuse them even more and put distance between you and those around you unless they are very understanding and forgiving people. Number two, don't run away. While this may seem like a really good option to some people it won't help anything. You can get away from the situation but eventually you will have to go back and face those people that you said something to and now they've had time to think too much about it. Odd ideas could be floating through their mind that will make them cautious around you wondering if you are going to do it again. Number three, unless you know it was something rude sounding don't apologize. Don't feel bad that you've said something random. Sure, it's not the most graceful thing but you can be sure that in the future it might happen again. It's simply a part of who you are and if you accept that then dealing with these random occurrences will be much easier.

So then, with all these things no to do, what should you do? Again, this all depends on what you are most comfortable with. The best idea is always to go with what makes you the most comfortable without running away or just reacting. Think through what options you have. If you told a joke that doesn't make much sense, maybe you can tell them the story about how that joke came about. Make it into a story that will lighten the mood because if that situation wasn't funny in some way you wouldn't be joking about it now. Maybe you said something utterly random because a word someone said reminded you of something. Whether it's a song you heard, a previous conversation, or just a random fact, you need to stop and think about what you've said and find someway to connect that back to what the conversation topic really was.