An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 6 - Getting Out There

Time for a lighter subject. Getting out in the world. And here I don’t mean about working at a job. I mean getting out of the house once in a while.

But aren’t Aspies people that don’t like going out? That might be a question you are asking right now.

Well, if you go back to the chapter I talked about myths of an Aspie you’ll know it’s not true. Being an Aspie doesn’t mean you like staying at home away from everyone else. Those human desires just don’t go away because they have Asperger’s Syndrome. What it does mean it that those needs become all the more important to fulfill. Without interaction with others, getting out to get fresh air, and feeling like they have more to life than worrying about what they are saying and doing wrong, an Aspie can become more and more depressed and withdraw from the world. This can turn into fear and prevent them from reaching their potential.

So, it’s about time to discuss why it’s so important for an Aspie to get up, get dressed, and go outside.

When you’ve made the decision to get out of the house or when someone invites you along, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, we will cover if it’s your idea.

If this is your idea and something you like to do, then things become infinitely simpler. But there is still some planning that must go along with it.

In planning out your outing, first ask yourself who, if anyone, is going with you. Some trips can and should be made on their own by an Aspie to give them a sense of independence. However, sometimes it is better to have at least one person going with them. Why? Because this is leisure time that can also help them to work on their communication skills in a public place. If all trips out are made alone and they spend more of their time at home alone, which I have done on occasion, then I have found that a saddens can set in that keeps them from reaching out to anyone.

Second, whether you are alone or not, define where you are going and how long you have. Realistically, unless you have absolutely nothing else to do, there will be days even during the week you want to go out but you should be back by a set time. I am notorious for my lack of time management skills. Most times I am completely unaware of how long it took me to do something. In my own head, my thought simply is that: why does it matter how long it took me if I get it done? Truthfully, I still can’t answer that one. Nevertheless, at least being aware of the time allows you to get things done but also not overwhelm you by spending too much time out. And since this is all about it being your idea to go out, then the place doesn’t matter as long as you’re considerate of the person or people going with you and the safety of everyone including yourself.

With those three things covered, let’s cover the flip side to this scenario: someone inviting you out.

Be this a date or just going to hang out with friends or relatives; don’t go with a gut reaction. Sometimes when this has occurred for me, I have instantly recoiled from the very idea of going out anywhere. Thankfully enough, I have family members and friends that will give me the benefit of time to process and think.

The questions you should ask yourself are:

1)      Have I gone out lately?

2)      Am I doing something important?

3)      Will I be doing something important?

4)      Can my plans wait?

5)      Have I had fun with him/her/them in the past?

6)      Where are they going?