An Aspie's Life: The Untold and Unknown Story

Chapter 8 - Decision Making

Making decisions on a daily basis is something that is relatively common and mundane. It could be something simple like what movie are you going to watch. Or it could be something complex like how are you going to budget your money? To most people, there are so common as to just be annoying parts of life they just can’t avoid.

When it comes to Aspies, however, the decision making process can be another trouble spot. To put this in perspective, there were time in the past people would ask me where did I want to go or if I even wanted to go out. This would send my mind spiraling through thought after thought. My mind would be weighing the pros and the cons. Then it would remember how much, or little, money I had and it would have to start over. Round and round it would go leaving me confused even over the simplest things.

Most of the time, as a child, I was just thought of as shy or introverted because while I actually had an opinion I would either shrug my shoulders or say that I didn’t care. I was too nervous to voice all the thoughts going on in my mind. This inevitably led me to just following along or getting left behind. Later in life, I flipped to the other extreme and spoke too much. Gave too much information when asked a simple question. Neither of them helped me gain more friends to spend my time with.

For those Aspies who have this component of an ADD or ADHD mindset, it’s nearly impossible to silence these voices without extra help. It also makes it difficult to know what to say and how to really make a solid decision.

When you are trying to make decisions for yourself whether big or small, there are a few things to keep in mind.

1)      Over thinking

This is something that can plague an Aspie and make relatively straight forward decision making a chore. Over thinking puts more stress on your brain and can tire you out sooner.

There are only a few ways I know to heal with the problem of over thinking things.

First, there is a sort of first strike you make the second after someone asks you a question. Just stop and mentally ask yourself: is this an important question or a simple question? If it’s a simple question, then answer simply. For example, if you’re just being asked where you want to ear, tell them. It’s that simple. No further thinking required.

Now if it’s an important question that’s when you have to let yourself think. For example, if you are asked about what way you have decided to budget and save money. This requires you to give a fuller answer. If you honestly haven’t thought about it, don’t try to think it out right then. You are completely in the right to say you don’t know or that you haven’t thought about it. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. If you do know, then tell them. Layout what your decision was. They may ask you why and they may not.

This is the route I was taking in the early days before I knew I had Asperger’s Syndrome. The only reason I was doing this was because I had people around me helping me that didn’t judge me by my shyness and wanted to help. This may be just a first step to cope with your Asperger’s Syndrome or it may be your only step.

Secondly, there is medication. The type will depend on what your problem is and how big a problem it is. Most of the medications I am aware of have been used mostly by those who have ADD or ADHD because the symptoms are just that similar. They work to slow the mind by blocking those receptors in the brain. It will stem the tide and keep you from being overwhelmed by your thoughts. By taking them everyday, you can focus better at school or in a workplace.

I used this option as my step two after I had a preliminary diagnosis stating that I might have Asperger’s Syndrome. Personally, they worked well fro me but some do have side effects that took some getting used to. If you have SSDI or insurance, then the price of these medications can be reduced.