Okay, it just pisses me off when I see a whole part in the beginning of a book that is entitled 'character profiles'.
Name: Mary Sue Waters
Age:Sixteen and a month
Appearance: Blonde locks, big blue eyes, full red lips, curvy figure
Height: 5 ft 6
Boyfriend: Ryder Hunter Walter, who is in fact a werewolf
Enemies : Nicole Charlotte Angelo - since she's an extreme bitch and whore and boyfriend-stealer
Jake Alexander Smith - since he's a asshol-ish cheater, player,manslut and total son of a bitch. Cheated on Mary Sue Waters with Nicole Charlotte Angelo.
etc etc etc
CMON
Y U DO DIS
I WANT TO READ THE BK
NOT BE SPOILED BY YOU, MISSY
I want to find out what happens when I read, not find out in the fucking character profile.
U understand?
Pls, it ruins the book :(
+++
Another thing that pisses me off are books that start like this:
'Hi! My name is Kylie Mia Hill. I'm sixteen and a half years old. I have luscious blonde locks, big sapphire blue eyes, full pink lips and an hourglass body. I digust myself though. I'm so fugly. I'm five foot 5, a lot shorter than my hot boyfriend Alexander Kyle Black who is 6 foot 4. Blahblahblahblah.'
and you're a bitch
I dun wanna read this whole paragraph. And u authors out there shouldn't do this because
1. The readers cannot process too much info. They'll forget it very soon. #TMI
2. I DUN WANT TO HEAR THE BISH DESCRIBE HERSELF, and no ones wants to too, trust me.
3. It ruins the story. It makes the story dull. If you just drop in a small detail about the character here and there, it makes the story a lot more interesting :)
So pls, dun describe your character. Show, not tell.
#WritingLessonsWithBryony
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The Book of Facepalm
De TodoThis is basically a book of rants about random stuff. If you are easily offended and/or against swearing, please do not read this. I will most likely offend people due to my peculiar nature. You have been warned.
