HUNTED ~ STEVE ROGERS [2]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

There is not a worse job in the world, than having to tell a mother her child is dead.

Some people don't get the chance to form the unbreakable bond that is mother and child. For some the bond is broken, torn apart by circumstance and choice.

For some the bond is too strong, and when it rips, so does your soul.

For three days, there was silence in the Arohangi home. People went about their business in quiet. Mia locked herself in her room. The younger kids didnt quite understand but they knew something wasn't right. There was no constant hum of the PlayStation. No movies played, and no music. There was only grief, the kind you can't describe because you can only feel it.

Grandma Whoo's funeral was short, and bittersweet. We came home, driving Trev. It felt wrong being in that car without Taly driving, her maroon head bouncing to the music in the front seat. Instead, I drove, while Tasha sat in the passenger seat, her face turned towards the window.

Bandages clothed my hands, where circular burn marks adorned the soft skin of my palms. I had never used my power like that, so much that I burnt myself. It dawned on me just how dangerous I was, and how easily I could glow too hot and hurt everyone around me

We sat in silence in the flat out back. Talys room was left as it was, like she could come home at any moment, and resume her life like we had never arrived. But we had, and that had ruined her life.

Our things were packed, but we didn't have the heart to leave. We just continued living there, sharing the bed like before, only now there was a space between us that was more than distance. It was betrayal, dishonour and hurt, and I didn't know if I could ever repair it.

"Why didn't you say something?" Natasha said suddenly, startling me. I looked over at her, curled up in a ball, her knees to her chest on the end of the bed.

"What?" I said, feigning ignorance, even though I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"You know what. Why didn't you tell me, or any of us who you were from the beginning? It wouldn't have made any difference," Tasha said defensively. I sighed.

"I was tired of being treated differently. That's why I left Wakanda in the first place. I didn't want it to be the same with you too," I said, looking down. Tash lifted her head, her eyes dark.

"That's a lie. All you do is lie, but for once tell me the truth!" She said angrily. I was taken aback.

"I was never meant to stay! I was brought in by SHIELD a few days before Loki stole the Tesseract. I wasn't considered for the Avengers program until it all went to shit, and Fury realized he could use me. I was supposed to do that one mission, fight the one war and then I was going back to the lab, back to be fixed so I could live a normal life again. I was never meant to stay!" I said, raising my voice, my hands shaking.

"Then why did you?" she asked, her voice lower now, not angry but pleading for an answer.

"I met a girl," I started. "Her name is Michelle Jones, but her friends call her MJ. She was 11, and I heard her scream. If I hadn't jumped in front of her, she would be dead right now. And she is much braver than I was. She dragged my fat ass all by herself to shelter under an overturned truck. But as much bravery as she has, she wasn't able to protect herself from those aliens. She would have died if I hadn't almost sacrificed myself for her. I stayed because I realized I could fight for those that couldn't fight and protect those that couldn't protect themselves. I could take all that hurt and pain and suffering onto my shoulders because they didn't deserve to carry it all."

"And you do? Tasha whispered, staring at the ground.

You want to know the exact number of people I have killed? The exact amount of blood on my hands? 1, in an alley in New York. 27, on the Helicarrier under Loki's magic. 2, in Egypt. 13 in Spain. 5 in Tokyo. 3 in Sussex. 16 in D.C. The list goes on, and I have every name memorised. If anyone deserves the weight of the world, its me."

"The thing is, you don't have to carry it alone. Why do you think the Avengers exists? We will carry that weight, but we carry it together." Tasha scooted over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"We all care about each other, even if we don't show it. And Steve cares for you a lot. You know that, right?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, I just, I care about him in a way he can never care about me. And he can't ever know how I feel, because it might ruin everything."

"You never know. He might love you, one day."

"My father would never approve. Not that I ever did anything that he approved of anyway, but there is a line I don't know if I can cross," I sighed, closing my eyes.

What does your family think of all this? Tasha asked.

"My brother doesn't know, about me. My father is keeping it from him, and I have to trust his judgement, even if I dont understand it. There are people I have to protect, and if the world knows who I really am, they could get hurt," I turned to face Tasha, whose head was resting on my shoulder. "That's why you need to promise to never tell anyone. One day, I might tell them. but for now, its a secret."

Tasha took a deep breath.

"Ok. I promise. But if this backfires, its all on you," She said, lifting her head to look at me in the eyes.

"I know that. And I'm prepared to take that risk."

Tasha looked me in the eyes, her dark red, windswept hair framing her pretty face. She really was beautiful, in a tragic way, and I had no doubt she had loved and lost in that moment. It was an unspoken truth, in the way she smiled sadly, her eyes shining with a brokenness only people like me could see.

"I know you're willing to take the risk, but are you willing to deal with the consequences if you fail?"

"No. But we'll burn that bridge when we come to it," I replied, chuckling softly. Tasha didn't join in. She only sighed.

"You might have to burn that bridge sooner than you think."