Father! How Rude!

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Jami and I walk up to the school. When I see Peter, my heart practically jumps out of my chest. We skip over to him like the little girls on PBS kids. 

"Hi, Peter!" Jami chirps. I try to pretend nothing happened on Saturday, but a lot did. A lot. 

I smile and dig my nails into my palm as I say, "Hi Peter! How are you?"

"Good!" he replies, his face lighting up at the sight of us. "You both look lovely, by the way." Jami pinches my arm, obviously thinking the comment was only directed at me. I elbow her and smile brightly at him.

"Right back at you Peter," I beam. The bell rings, reminding everyone of the boring day to come. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Finally! It's time for lunch! I bolt out of the classroom and directly to the cafeteria. Jami and Peter follow close behind. Due to me being a very fast runner, we're the first three in line and get the best tasting slop. It almost looks edible. 

We all sit down at our table and begin eating.

"So," Peter starts. "What are you guys doing after school today?"

"Probably going back to Father's place," I shrug, taking another small bite of slop.

"Father?" he asks. Jami and I giggle, and since I'm eating, Jami explains.

"You see," she says. "It'd be weird to call him Tony, and Mr. Stark is your thing. And he's acting more like a father to us, so we decided to call him Father."

"Why not Dad?" he asks.

"That's too practical," I answer. Peter just shrugs it off and continues with what he was going to say.

"Why don't you come over to my place?" he offers. "We have a biology test tomorrow anyway, so we could study. And May would probably be fine with it." I look to Jami, but she doesn't say anything. I pull out my phone and call Father. He picks up after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Father!"

"What did you do?"

"Why would you say that? I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, suuuuuuure."

"Soooo... I was wondering--"

"Oh God, what did Jami do now?"

"No, no, no. She didn't do anything. I promise."

"Fine. What do you want Daughter 2?"

"Wait, why am I Daughter 2?"

"Because Jami's Daughter 1."

"Why aren't I Daughter 1?"

"I like her more."

"LE GASP! Father! How rude!"

"Just kidding, but not really."

"Hmfp. Anyway, I was wondering if I could go to Peter's after school?"

"Hmm, is Jami coming?"

"Yeah."

"Okay fine. But use protection!" My face turns to beat red and my eyes dart to Peter.

"Father! It's not like that! We're studying!"

"On how to make babies?"

"Father!"

"Just teasing. Love you, bye!"

"Bye."

Almost instantly after I hang up, Jami's phone starts to ring. She picks it up.

"Hello?"

"Hshgshfhrsg"

"Yeah, we are."

"Hshgshfhrsg" 

"How many?"

"Hshgshfhrsg" 

"What if they notice?"

"Hshgshfhrsg" 

"Oh, okay. Bye!"

"Hshgshfhrsg" 

She puts her phone back down and starts eating.

"So you guys can come?" Peter asks. After what Father said, my face reddens at the word 'come'.

No! Stop that you dirty mind!

"U-Uh, yeah," I stammer, picking up my tray. "I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back." 

Before anyone can say anything, I stand up and leave. For some strange reason, I lost my appetite after looking at the white slop in front of me. I quickly throw it away and run to the bathroom. 

When I enter, I find the no one is in here, so I start pacing back and forth.

 Oh my God, what is this world doing to me?

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