LOVE, HIRO.

ENTRY #44.

tw: violence and homophobia

05/30/09
DEAR JOURNAL,

so. i told you about how i was surprised that amano hadn't spread any rumor of some sort, right?

well, he did.

i hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary when i first walked in; or maybe i was just oblivious. anyway, people stopped their chatter when they saw me for some reason, all of them staring as if i was about to walk to my imminent death or something. all smalltalk was dropped and suddenly whispers filled the air. i couldn't make out what they were saying but i could hear my name being mentioned from time to time. i wasn't the only subject of everyone's gossip though; i could hear ulaz being name dropped as well.

there were so many rumors and speculation going around; some claimed ulaz and i were involved in some yakuza pact, another said we were both murderers on the run. there were so many outrageous theories that i couldn't keep track of all of them.

the rumors were bothering, but one rumor bothered me the most.

"i heard he and the platinum blond guy were together."

"so they're...gay?"

"amano-san said so. weird, right? also, according to him, the pink haired one and the platinum blond one beat him up and knocked kazama-san out cold. apparently pink hair and platinum blond were pushing their 'gay agenda' and amano-san and kazama-san tried to stop them."

"yikes. it's always those weird types that you have to look out for, am i right?"

"yeah. poor kazama-san. someone really needs to stop them. i shudder to think what might happen if they really did push said agenda."

and at that, i froze. amano pretty much outed me, even if there were people who didn't believe him. speaking of him, he was already standing by my locker, smirking as his arms were crossed. he looked so proud, so smug that he let the cat out of the bag.

i wanted to slap the goddamn smirk off his face.

"there he is! pinky! our favorite queer." the word rolled off his tongue venomously and the look in his eyes almost resembled a snake, waiting to pounce on the mouse. i kept my blank look, though my legs trembled and my skin went cold.

"what do you want, amano?" i mumbled. that smirk seemed to grow a little bigger.

"oh, nothing," he hummed, though i sensed he was going to do something to ruin my life even more. and i was correct. "just for you to explain this ."

he brandished an unfamiliar letter, decorated with a blue rose stamp. it was then i realized that the letter he was holding was the latest letter from gray. and that wasn't the only letter he managed to get his grubby hands on; in fact, he tightly held a stack of letters in his fist, and i feared that they were going to crumple under his grip. dangling from his other hand was my now broken lock.

how the fuck...?

"g-give them back," i weakly said, aware of the forming crowd behind me. in response, he opened the blue rose envelope and started to read it in a mocking voice, the smug smile replaced with a sickly-sweet one.

"dear hiro,

how are you? i miss you, and i miss writing to you.

honestly, hiro-san, it's always a treat, just seeing you everyday, passing by you in the hallways. ah, i apologize if i sound too forward, but it's the truth. i love seeing you smile with your friends, i love seeing your happiness, your everything.