LOVE, HIRO.

ENTRY #47.

06/02/09
DEAR JOURNAL,

i sat at the table, across my father. neesan was at the kitchen, preparing dinner.

i looked down at my lap, twiddling with my thumbs as a result of my nervous habit. my father was flipping through a newspaper. it was the typical scene that occurred every night, but for some reason, it was especially tense this night.

"hirono."

i looked up to face him. he had put the newspaper down on the table, his eyes fully focused on me now.

"what's wrong?"

"huh?" was the only word i could utter.

"the school called me. said some kid was bullying you. how long did this go on?"

i gulped.

"about a month...maybe."

he looked disappointed. maybe even a bit hurt.

"why didn't you tell me? or your sister?"

"i don't know, dad...i was scared." i replied honestly. my words scared me, i wasn't used to being this honest with my feelings.

did the school tell him that i was bullied because i was gay and my bully happened to be homophobic?

"hirono...is there something you're not telling me?"

i'm gay, dad.
i like boys.

the words were stuck in my throat and i couldn't get them out so i just shook my head wordlessly.

he looked remorseful. "i know i haven't been the most affectionate ever since your mom died, but...i want you to know that i'll always be there for you and your sister."

his words were genuine, his face was sincere, and i felt the familiar need to just spill it all out. however, i couldn't seem to say it, so i just nodded.

"thanks...otousan."

he smiled and i think i saw the glint of a tear in his eyes. i haven't called him that in a long time. it was always

i think i was smiling too.

LOVE, HIRO.