Oceans Between Us

Chapter Twenty-Two: Why him and not you?

Y/N's POV

You sat in the cell, back pressed up against the wall waiting for someone, anyone to come rescue you. You'd been in that cell a couple of days and weren't prepared to last another. You groaned scooting forward a bit trying to get comfortable when you saw Cisco come down the hallway and into where you were at. You nodded at him and spoke.

"Come to let me out or are you just here to let me know my stay will be longer?" You asked sarcastically. Cisco looked awkwardly at the walls as he walked further towards the control panel. You then watched as he hit the screen and the door sealing you in, opened. You stood up and walked uneasily towards Cisco, who reached out and pulled you into a hug.

"Why are you hugging me?" You asked, standing in his arms uncomfortably. You pulled back and saw a red faced Cisco. "And why are you crying?" He didn't answer you and you stepped back from him uneasily.

"Cisco...Is everything okay?" He looked at the ground for a moment and then met your eyes.

"Something happened tonight and I don't know how well you're going to take it..." He began stepping towards you.

"Just tell me, did someone get hurt....killed?" You asked crossing your arms on your chest. He nodded before he mumbled.

"H.R..." You put your hand over your mouth and felt the tears begin to drop down. Suddenly you felt a pair of arms wrap around you, but you didn't push them away, instead fell into them. You sat there with Cisco on the ground, both of you letting the tears fall no one saying anything.

You pulled back and looked at Cisco. "Are you okay?" You asked sniffing.

"I guess, I mean I didn't realize how much H.R. meant until he was actually gone." You nodded and stood up, pulling Cisco to his feet as well.

"How did he die?" You asked brushing yourself off. Cisco cleared his throat.

"Well, I guess he disguised himself as Iris and took her place so when Savitar stabbed 'Iris,' it was actually him so he died." You nodded and pushed your hands over your face.

"So he died and Iris lived." You said in disbelief. You walked over to the wall and punched it with the side of your fist. "This wouldn't have happened had she not locked me in here!" You said raising your voice.

"I would have still been out there helping Barry and Wally, I could have helped Savitar become better....And H.R. would still be here, making jokes..." You sniffled out.

"Y/N I..." Cisco began. You waved your hand. "It's okay, you didn't do anything, he was your friend too and Iris took him away..." You said, a fire in your eyes. You brushed passed him and began walking upstairs, Cisco trailing behind you.

"You aren't going to do anything irrational right?" He asked concerned. You stopped in your tracks and looked back.

"I'm not a monster Cisco..."

----Time Skip----

You sat in one of the chairs at S.T.A.R. Labs waiting for the others to get back. Luckily they took their time so you had awhile to get yourself freshened up and were prepared when they walked in. You watched as Iris and Barry were holding onto each other smiling, and Wally and Joe who came after looked just as happy. They soon made it into the room and their smiles soon perished when they saw you sitting in the chair.

"Cisco, you let her out?" Barry mumbled looking at his friend distraught.

"I couldn't leave her in there, not when her best friend just died." He said defensively. Barry looked from Cisco to you.

"Y/N...You know I-No one had any idea H.R. was going to do this..." He said stepping closer to you. As he grew closer you used your foot to push the chair backwards towards the wall.

"Y/N..." He mumbled. You rolled your eyes. "Don't act like you care Barry because you don't. Sure you might be sad that H.R. died, but when I saw you walk in here tonight, you sure as hell didn't look like you were really upset...You're just happy your little fiancee survived." You spat angrily. You looked at Barry, who had nothing to say, and then over at the approaching Iris.

"Look Y/N, I know you're upset but even you couldn't have changed what happened. H.R. still would have sacrificed himself." She snapped back, causing you to get on your feet.

"You think I'm mad about the fact that my best friend sacrificed himself? Because I'm not! If H.R. felt like he had to do it and that it was his time, then so be it, then I respect that. I respect the fact that he put himself before another and instead of letting somebody's fiancee, daughter, or sister die so that he could live. I understood him when he told me he wanted to do something heroic, even if that meant giving his life for others, I'd known this day would come, but what I didn't know was that this day could have been pushed back days, weeks, months, or even years!" You shouted back at Iris.

Iris stared back at you confused and angry. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? What am I talking about?!" You yelled chuckling. You threw your hands up before looking at her coldly.

"You know exactly what I mean, had you not locked me down there, Savitar wouldn't have come looking for me and everyone could have gone on with their lives-And I mean everyone." You said.

"But you were fraternizing with the enemy!" She shouted back, taking a step closer. Everyone watched in fear as you guys continued to argue.

"He wasn't the enemy!" You yelled back, lifting your wrist so that everyone could see. You looked at your friends as they all gasped.

"What is that?" Joe asked. You looked at him. "The mark of the soulmate."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Barry asked concerned. You shrugged. "I didn't think you'd understand..."

"Of course we would...I wouldn't have agreed to lock you down there had I known." Barry said apologetically. You rolled your eyes.

"Of course you would have, Iris would have persuaded you like she does everything else." Barry scowled.

"What's your problem with Iris?" He asked.

"She's jealous-" Iris began before you cut her off.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence Iris, I'm not jealous, I have or had Savitar...I never planned on getting in the way of you and Barry, you knew that, you knew I would never, I'm not that kind of person...Yet you decided you had to get in the way of Savitar and I, what did I do to deserve that? Did I do something, tell me..." You said saddened. Iris looked at you oddly and then spoke.

"No...It's just the way that you looked at him that infuriated me, I got so angry when you would come back from a mission and punch him lightly on the arm while smiling...Or when you'd sit in the back and joke with him. The entire time Barry was oblivious to your obvious crush, and it made me so angry and I wanted you to leave so badly." She said.

"I'm sorry..." You mumbled, finally cooling down.

"You're what?" She asked. You rolled your eyes. "I'm sorry. Sorry that I had a crush on your fiance and sometimes let it show...I'm sorry that I fell in love with his time remnant." Iris looked at you and then down at the ground.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have locked you up down there..." She said. You nodded and looked over to Barry who spoke. "Are you guys good now?" You nodded and looked over at Iris who did the same.

"Good, now what are we going to do now?" He asked.

"First go to a funeral then prepare, Savitar probably still thinks I'm down here trapped in the cell so he won't stop..." You said, walking towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" Cisco called out. "Home...I need a change of clothes and good food." You replied. "Be ready tomorrow morning for H.R.'s funeral." You said walking out.