Not Again (Johnlock AU)

John?

    "It's a trick. Just a magic trick." John tossed and turned in bed, Sherlock's voice ringing through his mind and dreams. He tried to wake up. He couldn't...this wasn't supposed to happen, it just wasn't.

"Good bye, John." His voice sank into John's thoughts. "Sherlock!" John quickly awoke, screaming. He was sweating and his heart rate had accelerated. He lay back down and began crying. Why? Why was this happening? This wasn't supposed to happen. He had moved on from Sherlock. But then again...he hadn't. It had been three weeks since the incident at the alley. The incident where John thought he had seen Sherlock. He saw the same messy curls under that hood.

Then again, it could've just been his imagination. Like the time he thought he saw Sherlock in the corner of the store when he went to buy groceries.

      

   So many times John thought he saw Sherlock but when he told someone about it, even Molly...they just sadly smiled and tried to comfort him and convince him that he was just imagining. His physiologist just handed him some pills and told him to take them twice a day. "They'll help you...you need to take them." she would say. "No. I don't- I can't..." He would say. "Why not John?"   "Because...if I take them. I'll forget him...and I don't want that. Imagining him or talking to him in my dreams are the only times I can actually see his face..." That's how their conversations always ended.

      

        John got up from his bed and searched the room for his coat. He hadn't even thought of calling Mary since the day they met and now he was. He ran around until he found his coat and fished for the neatly folded paper in the pockets. His fingertips had barely reached her number when someone knocked on the door. He ignored it. He needed to call Mary first...or just pretend he wasn't home.

       He tried his best to find the paper again quietly but someone knocked again, this time a bit more hesitant... He finally manged to take out the small sheet when he heard something from the door. His heart sank. The person who had knocked...had spoken. That voice...

"No..." John whispered before running as fast as he could without knocking anything over, downstairs...for what he had heard was supposed to be dead...the too familiar voice that simply called...

"John?"