Leather and Lace (Editing)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

He left me there to slide down the brick wall and all I could see was his retreating shadow walking out of the ally and into the streets.

My body seems heavy, all I can feel is my pulse beating wildly in my veins and the gritty cement beneath my fingers.

I see the stars in the black sky and get so fixated on them, staring up at them in wonder. Just the concept of how limitless the sky is captivates me. 

After a while I get up unsteadily and put my hands on the wall to stop myself from swaying.

Maybe I went a bit too far this time... I don't usually have so much in 2 hours. How much did I have anyway...? I can't even remember. And is it bad that I don't even feel completely violated and traumatized right now?

I walk more cautious this time as I stumble into the streets and look around every few minutes. But being safe once again fades from my mind when I realize I'm nearing the richer part of town.

I know where I'm heading and in my intoxicated state, I don't bother thinking about how stupid this probably is. My entire mind is focusing on is how much I need to be in Ian's arms. For him to comfort me and tell me everything will be fine. To finally tell him about my life and for him to accept me. For him to be my knight in shining armour and take me away from this place.

Now I know this isn't a fairy tale but who really gives a damn? A girl can dream, right?

When I'm a few houses away from Ian's, I pass a large two story one, beaming with loud music and people spilling out from the front door, escaping to gain fresh air.

In the midst of it I see Ian and a grin creeps up to my face. I lose sight of him for a moment, so I step a few feet towards the crowd. Looking through everyone until I catch sight of him again but freeze completely, as my body instantly goes cold. Ian backed up against the wall with Stacey gripping at his shirt as they make out almost viciously with heated need and for a moment I can’t help but stare blankly at them, unwelcomed jealousy prickling its way through my mind.

My hands start to shake and I don't know if it’s because I'm hurt or just the pure hatred running through my body, but I turn around and storm away, trying to push down the urge to go back and break her bones one by one.

Why does she always ruin everything?! She just doesn't think that making my school life horrible is enough.. she has to destroy the only good thing that could have possibly save me from this dump.

I faintly hear yelling in the background and maybe my name but I'm too involved in my own mental rant than anything around me.

The only person that I let my wall down too and the only one I really trusted.

Now I just don't know who to trust. Can I really let anyone into my life or am I the only one who can know my deepest secrets?

I scream in pure frustration and punch the closest thing next to me, which happened to be a tree. I pull my hand back and examine the blood leaking from my scraped knuckles but I can’t feel the pain, I can’t feel anything. Maybe I don’t want to.

"Anna!" a voice yells from behind me. I instantly recognize it as Ian's and almost want to melt away into nothing.

In my attempt to get away I completely ignore him and walk as fast as I can in the opposite direction. I hear him jog up to me and before I know it he was standing in front of me, keeping me in place by my arms with a gentle touch.