Leather and Lace (Editing)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

As the effects of my last high were just starting to ware off, my mind drifted to Ian and it made me wonder.

Why was he back exactly? Who was he with and why does he still seem so intent on getting me back?

None of which I had any answers to and it was driving me to the brink of insanity!

With a huff I through my legs over the bed and lifted myself up, using the side table as support and stood steady for a moment, calming my still erratic heart.

Could I not get a moment without Ian protruding my thoughts?! It was bad enough he was here at all and now when I finally get time to breath, he jumps back into my mind, suffocating me with unanswered questions.

I groggily slipped on some torn jeans and a hoodie, stumbling out of the house unnoticed and walked along the dirty overgrown footpath with a sigh. I breathed in the cold morning crisp air as much as I could and treasured the feeling of it hitting my lungs with a cold burn.

The wind hit my face, harshly flicking my hair into tangled knots and the sun warmed my body, shielding it from the effect of the cool wind.

Before I knew it I was entering the gates of my old hide out and closed my eyes at the familiar smell of musky wet wood mixed with the leaves and dirt, the soft chirps of birds high in the trees surrounding me. It was my heaven.

I approached the bench I usually collapse at but paused for a moment as I noticed a figure slumped down, his head in his hands and a tangled mess of hair caught in his fingers.

I instantly recognized him. How could I not? When he consumes my dreams and thoughts at every moment.

"I was wondering if you still came here.." I jumped at the sudden husky voice as he turned around in his seat and faced me, looking up at me with a small smile, but his eyes were tired and his face was strained. Obviously I wasn't the only one this was affecting.

"Only sometimes." I replied somewhat coldly and watched as he grimaced slightly, making me feel bad instantly. How do I always end up being the bad guy?!

"Look..Ian..," What was I supposed to say? Sorry? Leave me alone? Your forgiven?

I don't even know my feelings right now, I couldn't tell one from another.

"You don't have to explain yourself," I sighed and gave him a small smile. "But,"

"Of course." I stated and rolled my eyes. Theres always a but.

He smiled and it actually reached his eyes as they sparkled like blue gems at me. "Would you just come with me. No drama. No arguments. No nothing, just us."

I looked at him skeptically.

"Please? I think we both need this." he pleaded hopefully.

This was not a good idea, not at all. Just stay away, let everything simmer into nothing, instead of bringing it back to complicated. "Sure."

His smile grew ten times bigger as he stood up and walked in front of me.

"Thank you." he sighed greatfully and I could tell he really meant it.

He was looking at my hand questionably and I could tell by the little crease forming between his eyebrows, he was having a mental argument.

Instead of giving him the wrong idea about me agreeing to this, I crossed my arms over my chest firmly and saw him nod slightly in acknowledgement.

"I just need to confirm with you now, before we go any further," I stopped mid-step and looked to the ground. "This isn't going to change things, nothing. It will just go back to normal... I'll give you two hours and then you and I will leave it at that... I won't see you again." I paused as my own words were starting to choke me up. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes and my chest tightened but I tried to swallow the lump stopping the words from passing and continued. "If we do happen to see eachother, we will pass with out a word,-"