Hurricane Eyes {A Sirius Black Fanfiction}

Chapter 14: The Full Moon

Following the evening I confessed my fears to Lily, I was careful to avoid Remus. Dodging him at meal times, avoiding the library, and even skipping certain classes had left me on very thin ice with the rest of my friends and my teachers. Professor McGonagall had written my father to let him know of my change in behavior and I had received several worried owls as well as an interrogation from James who wanted to know why I was acting like "an asshat to Remus." I knew Remus was hurt and confused, and guilt gnawed at my insides every time I saw his mournful expression in the corridors, but I knew I'd hurt him even more if I let myself feel anything, and in the end we'd both be heartbroken.
As I sat in the Great Hall, my heart thudded in my chest as I worried about the full moon the night before. I hadn't gone with the boys and I knew I should have. "What if something went wrong?" I muttered to myself. As if that wasn't bad enough, Hogwarts had been uncharacteristically dry, without a single storm, leaving me irritable and too weak to perform any magic.
"Good morning," Lily groaned plopping down across from me in the Great Hall. I looked up in shock, glancing around the completely empty tables before turning to my friend. Lily rolled her eyes at my surprise, "We used to eat breakfast every day together. I miss it. So if I have to wake up at four in the morning to eat with you, I'll do it."
"Thank you," I whispered softly, offering her a small smile as she piled food onto her plate. While the rest of my friends were now either furious with me or being ignored by me, Lily was the only one who had attempted to maintain a neutral side.
"No one else has been eating with you?" she asked quietly, her emerald green eyes flicking over me, a butter knife poised in her hand as she returned to fixing her toast.
"No."
"Well, we don't need them anyway," Lily finally sighed, "Though, I would like to point out that nowhere in our conversation did I tell you to just stop speaking to the boy with no explanation." The redhead looked at me pointedly, before taking a bite of toast.
"I would ruin him," I admitted slowly. "Too much has happened in my life and I'm too messed up to be good for him."
"You really think he hasn't dealt with messed up circumstances in his life?" Lily asked with a "bitch please" face.
"Lils," my mouth opened and closed for a moment as I struggled to explain. "I would never forgive myself if I hurt him."
"What makes you so sure you'll hurt him?" My friend asked, appearing completely nonchalant as she unwrapped a muffin. I was struck by how deeply discomforting this conversation was for me and how nervous it made me as I realized the contrast in my own shaky fidgeting hands.
"That's what happens. Look at Sirius," I offered with a small shrug, "He hurt me and James said I hurt him by not giving him another chance."
"Remus isn't Sirius, Tals," Lily sighed. "He's a really good person. And you can't let yourself ignore how you feel just because you're scared. That's cowardly. And my best friend is no coward. She is strong and honest and kind. And she owes it to herself to not change out of fear."
And of course. It was Lily who had stuck by me when I was a scared little girl who hid behind her hair, and it was Lily who stood by me when I was hiding from my feelings. "I love you," I said softly, "and I'm going to fix it. I just need to figure out how."
"Rain," James puffed as he raced into the Great Hall looking extremely disheveled. His hair was sticking up in a hundred different directions and he was still in his pajamas. "Been. Looking. For. You. Everywhere. Hospital Wing. Now." His words came out in pants and I froze as I registered what he said.
"How bad?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them and from the grim look on James' face I got my answer. Panic flooded every vein in my body and I wanted so badly to run away, to forget anything had ever happened, and pretend that my heart wasn't lying in the same hospital bed as a boy with brown eyes and soft hands. But Lily's words replayed in my head and I swallowed back the fear threatening to take control of my body.
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My breath came out in short gasps and my head spun as I attempted to ignore the pain in my leg. Blood spurted from a sharp gash in my my leg, clear to the bone.
"Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god," I hissed, wrapping my arms around my chest as I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out. I had tucked myself away in the attic, hidden from my mother after she had caught me playing with some Muggle kids in the garden. She had immediately dragged me by the arm into the house, her nails wrenching into my skin, not caring when my legs slipped out from beneath me.
"Raindrop," I breathed a sigh of relief as my father's head appeared through the trap door. He froze when he saw the blood pooling across the wooden beams, and the mangled flesh on my leg before swallowing thickly and rushing to my side. He reached in the black bag he always carried at his side and pulled out a bottle of dittany.
"Raindrop, this is going to hurt. But I need you to be strong for me," my father warned, his eyes tearing up as I whimpered and shook my head.
"I don't wanna," I shook my head moving away before shrieking as my leg dragged against the wood.
"Raindrop, I need you to be brave for me," my father said, pleadingly.
"I'm scared," I whispered honestly, clenching my fists until my knuckles turned white from the pain radiating through my leg.
"Raindrop, if you ever feel like you can't face whatever is scaring you, just remember all the reasons you have to be brave."
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And as I sat in the Great Hall, hands shaking at the idea of the freckled boy who had quickly meant so much to me lying in the Hospital Wing covered in bandages, I realized I had quite a few reasons to be brave. So I steeled myself for what I was about to see and stood up slowly on shaky legs before giving James a nod. And after a second of hesitation, I pushed past James and raced towards the Hospital Wing as quickly as I could.
"Remus," his name fell from my lips as soon as I caught sight of the amber eyed boy lying on his hospital bed. Bandages were littered across his chest and huge bags marred the pale skin under his eyes. Both Sirius and Peter were at the boy's side, looking a little worse for wear themselves. Sirius' arm was in a cast and his normally perfect hair was instead looking messy and sad. Peter's face was covered in dirt, tears making trails in the dust on his face. The boys' heartbroken expressions tugged at my heartstrings and every wall I had attempted to build over the past few weeks came tumbling down.
"Pete," the blue eyed boy met my gaze and immediately collapsed into my arms, shaking as he attempted to contain the sobs threatening to rip through his body. "Hey, it's going to be okay," I tried to reassure him, but Sirius shook his head.
"W-We don't know that," Sirius managed to say before his voice cracked and his gaze immediately shot to the floor.
And James appeared, looking as confident as ever, throwing his arm around his best friend and giving us all a wide smile. "It's Moony, mates. He's going to be fine." But I had already seen the anguish and panic in his eyes in the Great Hall when he had come to find me. And so without a word, I reached over and grabbed his hand, giving him a small nod when he gripped it so hard his knuckles turned white.
"James is right," I offered firmly, meeting Sirius' gaze for the first time in a month and a half and letting my lips twitch up into a small smile, an olive branch. Sirius' shoulders seemed to sag in relief and he offered a tight smile in return.
Silence fell over the four of us as we looked down at the boy, whose breathing was labored and tight. Remus' chest rose once or twice every fifteen seconds, and panic flooded my veins every time it took longer, fearing the worst.
"Mr. Lupin is lucky to have friends who care about him," McGonagall murmured gently, appearing behind James, "But they need to make sure they take care of themselves as well. Black, Potter, Pettigrew, you look like you didn't get any sleep last night." And of course, she knew. How could she not? The boys had pestered her with suspicious questions about animagi until she finally relented. "Go back to your dormitories and get some rest. You're excused from classes for the day," she added gently, squeezing James' shoulder gently and offering the other two boys a small smile.
And with a tired nod, James stood from Sirius' side, pulling the other boy to his feet before winding his arm over his friends' shoulders. And the three boys slowly hobbled back towards the common room, heads down.
"Miss Edwards," McGongagall gave me a small nod before walking towards the Great Hall, her robes billowing behind her.
And with a shaky breath, I took a seat at Remus' side, holding his hand gently between mine and hoping against all hope that James really would be right.
"Alright, dear," Madame Pomfrey bustled over, holding a small bowl with a silver liquid. "I have to apply this to his wounds, to help them heal." I nodded, before she continued, "It will hurt."
"Will he wake up?" I asked worriedly, the tension in my shoulders evident as Madame Pomfrey gave a small tilt of her head.
"He might."
I steeled myself for what might come, as Madame Pomfrey removed the bandages from Remus' chest. Horror tugged at the pit of my stomach at the large gashes in the boy's chest, the mangled flesh, and the smell of it burning as the solution Madame Pomfrey applied began sizzling on his flesh. And as I brushed the hair off his forehead, Remus' eyes shot open, the muscles in his neck and shoulder straining as his back arched off the bed and a blood curdling scream left his lips. His arms flailed widely and Madame Pomfrey shot me a stern expression.
"Hold him down," she ordered, looking nowhere near finished with the mixture and after a moments hesitation I pinned Remus' arms to the hospital bed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I repeated, seeing the anguish in Remus' eyes as he foamed at the mouth.
"Help," he managed to choke out between his screams and my heart broke. Tears immediately filled my eyes, threatening to spill over. And just like that, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body stilled once again.
"I'm done," Madame Pomfrey assured me a few minutes later, tucking fresh bandages around Remus' wounds before giving me a nod and bustling away.
Collapsing in the chair next to Remus' bed, I let out a shuddering sob. I felt so helpless. What good was having my gift if I couldn't use it when someone actually needed me? And as everything hit me, I wept, praying to a god I had never believed in that he could do something when I couldn't.
"I'm so sorry, Rem," I whispered, clutching his hand in mine as though it was the only thing keeping me from losing it. And at that moment, it was. Tears slipped down my cheeks and my shoulders shook with silent sobs as I rested my head in my hands. After a few moments, I finally regained some of my composure and wiped the tears off my face before looking back at the brown eyed boy on the bed. "And I know that I messed everything up and that I should've been with you and I'm so sorry," I took a deep breath, attempting to steady my voice, "Please just don't give up. On me, on any of us, on this. We need you. I need you. I can't lose you, Rem."
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For three days, I remained at Remus' side, not even leaving to eat. Lily had taken to dropping by in the morning, usually bringing a muffin or a piece of toast with her that sat untouched next to me. I was far to anxious to eat anything, the only thought in my mind was whether or not Remus would ever wake up. The Marauders were there all the time as well, despite Mother Hen James' attempts to keep everything as normal as possible. He hustled the boys away at mealtimes and when it got too late, trying to make sure they got rest and sufficient nutrition. He had attempted to include me in his mothering, but one glance at my face told James I wasn't leaving.
I glanced at the mirror on the bedside table, not expecting the face that looked back at me. My cheeks were pale and gaunt, my eyes a dark grey and I watched to see if they would shift, but they didn't. Closing my eyes tightly, I returned my gaze to Remus, shivering as the air in the Hospital Wing nipped at my skin.
"Hey," James appeared at my side, his hazel eyes meeting my own. "You look like shit," he offered honestly, his eyes concerned.
"You don't look much better," I replied hoarsely. And it was true. Dark bags lined his eyes and I could tell he had been crying so I removed one of my hands from Remus' and offered it to the bespectacled boy next to me.
"You're freezing," James realized as his hand touched mine, immediately bustling away before returning with a blanket that he wrapped tightly around my shoulders. Grabbing my hand gently, he held it between his own two blowing on it in an attempt to warm me up. "You need to eat, Tal."
"When he wakes up."
"Tals, do you think Remus ever wants to see you like this?" James asked softly, "He cares about you. You know, he would feel guilty if you did this to yourself because of him."
"Don't you get it, James?" I whispered as my eyes filled with tears. "This is my fault. I should have been there. If I had been there, none of this would have happened. He'd be okay. Everything would be okay."
"So, why didn't you?" James asked. His tone was gentle, not accusing merely curious and I let my eyes meet his.
"I couldn't do any magic. I still can't," I cried, "There haven't been—"
"Any storms," James realized, his eyes widening as he looked at my form in a whole new light. "Talia, how long has it been?"
"Since the snow started to melt. After Valentine's."
"That's a month, Tals," James looked at me with concern, his hazel eyes flicking over my body before meeting my gaze again. "I can conjure some for you, or I can get Madame Pomfrey to conjure some. It'll help."
"I'm not leaving him."
"Talia, you could die," James replied urgently, his voice thick with emotion. "And the last thing Remus needs is to wake up and find out you killed yourself waiting for him. It would ruin him, Talia."
"If Dumbledore can conjure an actual storm, I'll go out in it," I conceded, squeezing James' hand gently.
"Come on then," James ordered, standing up.
"Stay with him. Please?" I pleaded, searching James' eyes beseechingly.
"Of course."
Two hours later, with freshly washed hair and new resolve, I returned, giving James a small smile as I took a seat next to him.
"Thank you," I offered quietly, meeting the boy's hazel eyes. "I'm really sorry, James."
"For what?" He looked at me, confused.
"I should've been there and I shouldn't have disappeared on you Remus, on you guys," I replied, taking his hand in mine. 
"It's okay, Tals," James assured me, squeezing my hand gently before cracking a small grin. "Though, it might help smooth things over if you put in a good word with Lily for me."
"We'll see," I gave him a small smile in return, shaking my head at the boy's antics, before glancing at his tired frame. "You should get some rest."
James looked torn for a moment before exhaustion won out and he seemed to nod. "Yeah, I think I will."
"He's going to be okay," I said determinedly, nodding firmly at James, who managed a wry smile.
"It's good to have you back, Rain."

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3rd Person POV

Remus woke to the sound of a soft voice, that reminded him of the sound of rain hitting trees, a voice that made his heart skip a beat and his chest tighten as he remembered the past few weeks.
"As you look at Wendy, you may see her hair becoming white, and her figure little again, for all this happened long ago," Talia's voice rose and fall as she read what Remus realized was Peter Pan. "Jane is now a common grown-up, with a daughter called Margaret; and every spring cleaning time, except when he forgets, Peter comes for Margaret and takes her to the Neverland, where she tells him stories about himself, to which he listens eagerly." With a sigh, Talia continued onto the last line, "When Margaret grows up she will have a daughter, who is to be Peter's mother in turn; and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless." Closing the book gently, she glanced at the amber eyed boy in front of her. "Come on, Rem," Talia murmured, "Always running late, aren't you? I suppose it's in character then."
Remus' eyes opened slowly, fluttering a few times as he adjusted to the scene around him. Talia was by his bedside, a book in her lap, her dark hair piled on top of her head in waves, her eyes shifting from grey to a bright green as her face broke into a huge grin.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," she said softly, her eyes glistening as Remus managed a small smile.
"What happened?" Remus asked, slowly pushing himself up and wincing as the cuts on his chest pulled. The wounds on his body had scabbed over, but they were sure to scar.
"The full moon didn't go well," Talia replies slowly, her eyes searching Remus' as she continued quickly. "I'm sorry I didn't go."
"What do you mean?" Remus asked, his brows furrowing, "You couldn't, there was no rain." Remus had noticed the lack of storms and had grown concerned about the dark haired girl whose smile made his head spin, however she had begun avoiding him and he couldn't make sure she was alright.
Talia seemed stunned for a moment, struck that Remus remembered when she threw her arms gently around the boy in front of her. "I'm sorry, Rem," she whispered, burying her head in Remus' shoulder as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. And Remus knew exactly what she was sorry for as he held her tightly to his chest, but he couldn't bring himself to care about the weeks he hadn't been able to share with her, too caught up over the fact that she was there now, smelling like roses and looking as beautiful as ever.
And so with a small smile, Remus pulled away to look at the girl in front of him. "It's okay, Tals."
And Talia, struck with a small bit of courage, leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the boy's cheek, before pulling away. The two teenagers blushed at the action and Talia hid her nervous smile behind her hand when suddenly a blur flew by her and pounced on Remus.
"Moony!" James shouted tackling the boy on the bed with a hug. Sirius and Peter stood at the foot of the bed and Talia immediately moved out of the way so the four boys could reunite. That night was filled with laughter and wide smiles as the Marauders celebrated, Remus and Talia both trading small looks throughout the night all the while wondering exactly what was going to come.
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3,477 words
So, this update is a lot longer yay! And I got it out four days later rather then seventy years so I'm doing well lol. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think

Kaitlynn xx