Hurricane Eyes {A Sirius Black Fanfiction}

Chapter 2: Guilt

Even as I watched him walk away, I could already feel guilt begin to gnaw at my insides. As my body was revived in the storm, my mind was lost in a different storm. I had cut him and I had cut him deeply. I barely knew the boy and yet I had acted so coldly. Part of me tried to reason that he had been pestering me all day and my temper was already running high due to the lack of rain. The other part of me knew that despite how he acted, Sirius wasn't all that bad. He had, after all, caught me, a girl he barely knew. He had also attempted to do what he thought was right-- bring me to the Hospital Wing. I made up my mind to apologize to the grey eyed boy and try to make it up somehow. 

The next two weeks passed in painful agony. Sirius avoided me like the plague (he hadn't noticed me much before, but it was painfully obvious he was ignoring me) and it didn't help that James, Peter, and even Remus shot me disapproving looks. The guilt ate at my stomach, resulting in an acute loss of appetite. Even I knew I had screwed up when I lost sleep worrying about it. I didn't know why hurting him made me feel that badly. I didn't even know the boy, for Merlin's sake. But, the look in his eyes right before they hardened was familiar to me. I recognized that look. I had worn it on my face many times, barely masking hurt as it threatened to mar my features. Even the cold look he wore on his face after was haunting. It seemed to me that he had been forced to wear it often. I managed to finally talk to him on a Saturday. 

It was odd to have warm weather so late in the year, but no one was complaining. Students were sprawled all over the soft green grass, lounging in the sun. Some were working on homework, others were merely messing around. I had taken refuge under the shade of a large tree by the Black Lake. The sun's rays reflected off the surface of the water, glistening in a thousand beautiful colors. Even I, someone who always preferred storms, could appreciate the beauty of the day. I had my head buried in a large book for History of Magic when I caught sight of a familiar head of messy hair. Standing with a grim determination, I shoved my book in my bag before walking towards the grey eyed boy. 

"Sirius," I called, watching as he turned away from his friends. When he caught sight of me, he shook his head at his friends before walking back to the castle. "Sirius!" I jogged after him, grabbing his shoulder to make him stop. 

"What?" he hissed, his grey eyes flashing dangerously. They reminded me of storm clouds barely containing their downpour, barely containing the electricity that crackled inside. 

"Look," I started, "I'm sorry. I really am. What I said was absolutely wrong. I wasn't having the best day and I took it out on you." 

"You don't know me," Sirius growled accusingly, pointing his finger at me and leaning in closely. Lightning sparked in his eyes and I gulped before nodding. 

"You're right. You're absolutely right," I admitted, holding my hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry, Sirius." 

Sirius took a step and ran a hand through his messy dark hair. His eyes were locked on the ground as he shook his head. "I don't even care about what you said," he muttered almost bitterly. "Why should I? You're not worth it." He shot me a deathly glare before stalking off. 

I sighed in defeat before placing my hands on my head. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tugged at my dark locks. 

"What did you say to him?" James Potter asked, his eyes watching me suspiciously. "What did you say?" 

"Nothing," I began, "I just-. I'm trying to apologize." I looked the bespectacled boy in the eye before feeling a lump in my throat. "Look, um. If you see Sirius, will you just tell him that 'I'm really really sorry.' Okay?" I turned back towards the castle, tears of frustration pricking at my eyes.

Later that night, I sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall next to my redheaded best friend. "Honestly Lils," I had protested as she dragged me down to eat, "I don't need food." Lily had of course won the argument with her perfect logic and wicked debate skills.