The Shining Star Award

Vampire Results And Winners

Judged by IllenisThorn

Winners

V Generation
By Dark_Writes
Glacier
By beth_lynn

Book Title: V Generation
Author: Dark_Writes

Summary - 4
Grammar - 8
Spelling - 10
Punctuation - 9
Originality - 8
Total - 39 (1st)

Review -
Your summary was OK, but it felt like it was lacking in places. Your spelling in this part is perfect, which is a good sign in my book. However, there were quite a few repetitions of 'and' which didn't help the words to flow. There was either an extra 'the' in there, or it needed to be capitalised. I'm also not sure exactly as to what the plot is going to involve, since you've left it a bit ambiguous towards the end. How exactly are they going to stop this vampirism fad? Give us a hint as to what their plan involves, perhaps? Either way, I think you should revise this.The first and second chapter were a bit of a riot, personally I kind of like and dislike Chester at the same time - if that's even possible. Your voice in this is rather unique, and very different to what I've read before. Chester - our narrator of sorts - is rather crude, especially with his language, and you've really defined his personality in these first two chapters. You get points for originality here. Though I did find sometimes the long sentences were a bit hard to read, and you seem to add a space before the '...' (like so), which, as far as I'm aware, doesn't need to be there.

Book Title: The Red Guard: Vampire Hunters of Vatican City
Author: traci_edmunds

Summary - 5
Grammar - 9
Spelling - 10
Punctuation - 7
Originality - 6
Total - 37 (3rd)

Review -
The summary was good, as in it got all/most of the key points down, but for me, it was lacking in excitement and flair - it felt rather dull, and ordinarily it wouldn't grab my attention enough to read it. The main problem I find is with that middle section, which was rather hard for me to process and work out what you were trying to say there.
Your first chapter set the scene nicely, along with the second, but they seemed rather padded out with words, for instance 'woman who was dressed in rags' rather than 'woman dressed in rags'. There were also a few extra 'that's here and there, but I'm fussy about that, so that might just be me being pedantic. I couldn't spot a single spelling error in your first two chapters, so you get a ten for that... of course it's always best to double check, though.

Book Title: Friends with Darkness
Author: AnaFernzz

Summary - 3
Grammar - 8
Spelling - 10
Punctuation - 6
Originality - 5
Total - 32 (4th)

Review -

Your summary explains the very basic bare bones of what exactly is going to go on, which is means it does it's job, but I found it to be rather cliche in places - especially with the whole 'special' and 'not-so-popular girl'. There's also some missing spaces after commas, which would normally have me running for the hills. You're missing a good hook to draw people in. What makes her 'special'? Can you hint at what exactly that is? What form to Wade's dark secrets take? I'd also avoid normal-looking. Maybe try ordinary instead... or average?
You're first two chapters were a good start - I got an idea of what was going on, and all their relationships with one another. To me, it was lacking in originality, at least what I've read so far was, but I won't deny it was interesting. It kept my attention, which is good. However there was an issue with your punctuation occasionally sneaking it's way outside of the speechmarks, which got you a lower score.

Book Title: Glacier
Author: beth_lynn

Summary - 4
Grammar - 9
Spelling - 8
Punctuation - 9
Originality - 7
Total - 37 (2nd)
(I'd say this one wins slightly over The Red Guard, which scored the same.)

Review -

Your summary tells us the basics, with good grammar and the like, but I'm finding it's missing some big parts - such as the hook and more detail as to what conflict is going on. Yes, she has to deal with this new life - but how is it so different to what she led before. Some part of me is kinda dissapointed you revealed her to be a vampire in the summary, but seeing as it's in the vampire category, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to figure that out. The 'dark secret' bit feels a bit cliche. In what way are things going to change? Good? Bad? Will it affect just Carly, or somebody else or maybe even the world?
The prologue sort of spoiled a bit of the mystery for me, along with being a bit difficult to read. It was rather flat to read, which, if you were going for an epic fantasy, would be acceptable (for me) but since this is a vampire book I find it less so. Is there no way you can maybe introduce all these facts later on? No way we can see the divide between the other supernaturals and the werewolves and find out about these goblins later on.
Your first two chapters set the scene, and they did their job well - though I admit I'm a sucker for these kinds of books - though I find them lacking in mystery, but that's more my personal taste. On the whole, good job.

Book Title: Destine
Author: belkisaris (Not Following Me)

Summary - 2
Grammar - 5
Spelling - 8
Punctuation - 9
Originality - 6
Total - 30 (5th)

Review -

Your summary is an excerpt of your book at first glance, and while it might be OK every now and then to stick some lines from your book at the top of a blurb, this is pretty much the whole summary. I don't have a clue exactly what's goiong to happen. I don't know what the main conflict of the book is going to be about - besides a relationship which seems to be made of two people who are supposed to hate each other. Your grammar is fairly good on the summary, though, appart from that slip up on the 'What', unless that's deliberate of course.
From what I've noticed in the first two chapters, your punctuation is good, and you have relatively few slip ups on grammar, though there is the occasional one that sneaks its way in. However, you have a habit of changing between tenses - for instance 'reply' and 'said'. One is present, the other is past, and you used both in a chapter. There's a good dose of mystery going on, more so in the first chapter than the second.