Poems I Wrote

Save Me

Save Me

I wonder if I'll be able to express how I feel
I wonder if even in this poem I could sound real
Because everyday my mask has been eating me alive
Everyday I question what I'm doing with my life

When friends need help I'm already there
Even when they don't ask I always, always care
Doomed in their negativity I try to be their light
Being eaten by their darkness I'd put up a good fight

I'm always all ears and give positive advice
I'm not sure if they listen even if I say it twice
Sometimes they'd say I would never understand
I would never know how they were feeling firsthand

I'd give them the usual smile and just nod and agree
I don't want to argue, I don't want to waste energy
Instead I just listen and help them go through it
Instead I just comfort them, letting my own feelings sit

I lost count of how many people I've been there for
I don't think I was even counting them before
I invested time and effort to save them from misery
In hopes of having someone to also save someone like me

But when I reach out my hand, they all disappear
My hurt and my sadness are met with deaf ears
I try to open up slowly and I'm told of being dramatic
Maybe I am; maybe I'm just plastic

My feelings are disregarded because people say they have it worse
You don't even know my story, why I think I live with a curse
It's not a competition of problems, can't you see?
I just want someone to listen, someone to save me

I want someone to listen and not just to respond
Because that's what I always do to create a bond
Unfortunately people don't have the same heart
I'm always taken for granted for playing my part

I'm not a lonewolf; I'm always surrounded by people
I laugh my heart out and smile like a total fool
Others they envy me, others admire me
You people only see what I want you to see

You think I enjoy life just because I smile and joke and laugh to no ends?
You think I'm not lonely just because I seem to have a lot of friends?
A shallow understanding; that's because you always assume
You believe the world's out to get you and you're doomed

I'm tired-- I'm so tired of trying to please everyone on the go
I'm tired of always getting burned to keep them warm-- of being the hero
I'm almost at my limit, I'm starting to break
And when you finally notice it'll already be too late

Someone please find me
Someone please hear me
Someone please hold me
Someone please save me

Save me please, save me
I'm tired, I'm drained, I'm sorry
The words are killing me, really
And I know I'll have another fake smile ready

You think you're the only one hurting?
You think my life's perfect and amazing?
You think you're the only one who overthinks to death?
You think you're the only one who hides the pain under her breath?

My dear, if you could read my thoughts for even just a minute
I'm afraid your frail heart wouldn't be able to take it
The darkness I pulled you out of is a home that's never lit
The negativity I pushed away for you is the energy I want to quit

You will never hear these words from me
Because I want you to see me as the bright and cheerful me
You see, I have to be the stronger person among us
Because if I'm not, we'd be a lame group of wuss

You see, someone has to be the light
Even when she's consumed by the darkness of the night
Someone has to be the rock
Even if her mind's already blocked

I am strong, but I am tired
My mind's a mess, my heart's wired
I'm fed up with my thoughts, with life
But I'll fight, cutting the pain with a dull knife

I'll reach out my hand, for a last bit of hope
Maybe someone would throw out a rope
Come and find me, please, come save me
Save me from myself, please, just save me