Poems I Wrote

I Don't Want It Anymore

I Don't Want It Anymore

If love is patient, how impatient must I have been
To end a relationship of six months was such a sin
It was a short time we spent together until I fell to my lowest point
Because I didn't want to wait for more things to happen that will surely disappoint

If love is kind, how harsh must I have been
To get mad at you for meeting other girls and act clean
I must've been such a bitchy person to stay faithful
While the man who promised me love played me for a fool

If love does not envy, then I made a mistake
I just watched as you loved her and made my heart break
How great a sin did I commit as I watched in envy
As the man who told me it was nothing didn't even feel sorry

If love does not boast, then I am fool
For turning your flaws into something cool
For hiding your faults and highlighting the good
While you continued playing your games and acted all rude

If love is not arrogant, then I must be an ass
For defending myself when you lost your class
For sticking to my pride and guarding my heart
It was so easy for you to make me play the guilty part

If love is not rude, then how demure was I back then
When you played all those jokes on me and shared it with your friends
I stayed quiet, but then you'd apologize and act like an angel
Then everything would be fine, but you boy, you were the devil

If love doesn't insist on it's own way, then I must have been selfish
Praying that I would be at the top of your list was such a hopeless wish
Praying that you would look at me the way you looked at her
I was so selfish to think that you chose me as your lover

If love is not resentful, then I must be the devil
For drinking all your poison and trying to act civil
Hating you for what you did but forgiving you right after
I was dying right there as you held in your laughter

If love rejoices at the truth, then I am a liar
Because she was your true love and I couldn't replace her
For convincing myself that you guys were over
For ignoring the truth hard enough to make my soul shatter

If love bears all things, then I must have been weak
For giving up on something that would lead to something bleak
I must not have been strong enough
To fight alone when the times got rough

If love believes in all things, then I am a skeptic
How could I choose which lie to pick?
If believing is magic then my magic is dead
As well as the colors that are now gray in my head

If love hopes all things, then I've lost it
I've spent most of my time hoping and watched it burn to bits
If hope is a power then I am completely powerless
I've lost all hope in us as I drown in your mess

If love endures all things, then love isn't for me
I've given up on us because I just wasn't happy
If love endures all things, then I was love the whole time I was with you
But now that it's over I guess the pain's over now too

If this is what they call love then I don't want it
You put your heart on the table and it gets thrown to a pit
If this is what love has to offer and what more it has for store
Then take it back, please, because I don't want it anymore

Lin
November 5, 2017
2:37 AM