A Million And One Reasons Why I Hate Myself.

Flashbacks.

"Move too much and I'll slit your throat. You're going to like this, whore." He whispers in my ear as tears fall down my face.

I wake up and look at the clock. It's 3AM. It has only been a few weeks since the attack and I continue to have nightmares. I haven't told anyone yet, not even my parents. I'm pretty positive that I'm not pregnant or anything, so what would be the point? I try going back to sleep, but the images just keep replaying over and over.

After falling to sleep, I wake up to my alarm a few hours later. I look at my phone, it's 6AM. I go to the bathroom and begin undressing while I stare at my body in the mirror. I'm such a whore. I can't even look at myself the same, I feel so disgusting. I constantly hear his words saying that "I'm gonna like it" and that "I'm his."

I finish my shower and get dressed. I don't even bother with make-up anymore, I'll never be or feel pretty again. I run downstairs in hopes of seeing my "perfect family." All I see is a note left behind.

It reads

Good morning kids.

Your father and I are leaving for a few days. Make sure you two go to school and do your homework. Make sure Starrs nanny is here before you leave in the morning. She will watch her until we come home.

There are leftovers in the fridge.

NO PARTIES, Max!

See you in a few days!

Ugh, well, my parents are gone, once again. I proceed back upstairs to wake up my brother, Max, and my sister, Starr. "Max, hurry up or we'll be late!" I yell as I'm grabbing my backpack. Next I walk in Starr's room, "Rise and shine, beautiful, nanny is here." I say softly with a smile on my face. She smiles at me and tells me good morning. "Max, get up!" I pound on his door that he then opens. "God damn it, it's too early." he says with a playful smile. We run downstairs and run out the door as he shoves a muffin in his mouth.

I jump into the passenger seat of our Charger. On the way to school, I drift in and out of reality. Max is 17, a senior in high school. Star player of the basketball team.

"Max, mom and dad are out of town, again. No parties." he laughs, "No parties? Ha."