Do Not be Afraid of What You Feel

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***I made an IG! I post whenever i'm updating, and more. I love to follow you guys and see what you're up to. I'll check out your IG and if you tell me your Wattpad stories, I'd be glad to read and follow you. Username: newlymarriedtokris (I'll follow you!)***

*Rachel POV*

It's been two days from hearing what Sehun said. (And two days with not major power outage) I never got the hint. I was too blinded to be aware. This whole time, I never knew. But I knew Luhan. I knew Luhan loves soccer. I knew Luhan loves singing. I knew Luhan always Korean egg toast when we go to our favorite cafe by the park. I knew Luhan loves bubble tea. I knew Luhan always wears socks in the house. I knew Luhan's past. I knew Luhan's goals for the future. I know Luhan. What I don't know is why he kissed me. Especially in front of Kris. He wouldn't do something like that.

It's 3am. and I can't stop thinking about everything. Not just the kiss, but the fact that he's been so distant before that. I shifted my body around under the blankets and faced towards Kris. He was sound asleep under the blankets. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and got out of bed. I put on one of Kris' jackets, and left.I needed to settle things straight. I raised the hood, put it on my head, and walked from the rain outside to my car. I can't stand another night of this.

Thankfully Luhan gives me his spare key to everything. I crept through the living room, which had Xiumin sleeping on the couch with the TV on, to Luhan's room. Luhan was asleep. He looked so peaceful. I just want to cuddle with him forever. I just wanted a night like old times. I got on the other side of the bed, scooted to him and wrapped my arms around him. I shed tear when I realized what I was doing. Could I be teasing Luhan? I'm married to Kris. Kris doesn't seem to understand that Luhan and I have acted this way and have been such close friends ever since we started off. Nothing's changed. Not for the better, which is what Luhan wants. Not decreasing, which is what Kris wants. I don't want to let go of Luhan, ever. I've known him almost all my life. I'm not doing it. Even for my husband. I do love Kris, with a passion. But as much as I love my husband, Luhan is a part of my life. He shaped me to become who I am today. I can't imagine growing up without him. He helped me with my abusive parents, he even helped me with my little every day problems. He is a necessity of my life.

I felt him move around, He might be waking up. I ran my fingers through his hair and gently nudged his arm to wake him up. He opened his eyes a little, and they widened when he saw me.

"It's a suprise to see you here.."

He said with a sleepy, low voice. As he grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers.

"I'm sorry you have to randomly wake up to me here at 3A.M., but I really need to talk to you and I can't rest until I speak to you. I'm really sorry I couldn't do anything about it."

He gave a sympathetic look.

"It's okay, Rachael. We did it all the time in school..remember?"

He smiled.

"I remember."

Luhan raised out of bed and I did the same.

"What do you need to talk about?"

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