Without You

Captivated

*Chapter Two*

Nick Carter was staring back at his reflection in the mirror in the men's restroom of some music store. His hands tightly gripped the white rim of the sink; he wanted to be anywhere except here. He could feel himself become more and more agitated. Lately he just was getting sick and tired of the same old routine. He needed a break. He tried to tell Kevin that he wasn't feeling great and that didn't think he was going to make it to the signing. When he told him, he went berserk and gave him hell for even consider bailing. He started to lecture him; scolding him. Saying if he wasn't all out partying last night then he wouldn't be hanging in the first place. He wasn't hanging! Hell, he barely even went out. Sure, he had a few beers with his friends, but that was nothing. Nothing compared to what he could have done. Kevin has been on his ass for weeks now and it was really getting underneath his skin.

He let out a loud sigh and turned on the faucet to splash cool water on his face and leaned his head back. He ran a hand through his ear length blonde hair, causing it to stick up. He's been feeling empty lately; he was nothing but depressed and it was starting to really affect his work. He knew he shouldn't let something like that interfere with his job. It was ever since he broke up with Cindy.

He knew he was over her. Hell, he didn't even really like her that much; she just gave great head. It was nothing but a sex based relationship. She was a little groupie he met while on tour and he liked how she made him feel sexually, so he let her stick around. He didn't know what was wrong with him. It was almost like sex wasn't enough anymore. Since when was sex never enough?! Maybe it was from the way he saw how Brian had Leighanne. They were so in love; they couldn't go a day without talking or saying they loved each other. Then there was Kevin and Kristin. They didn't even really need to say the words; it was just how they showed it. The way she would look at him; the way she would gently touch his hand or rest her head on his shoulder. It made him almost envious that he didn't have something like that...God knows he wanted something like that. He never thought he would be the type of person that wanted an actual relationship.

After his very public relationship with Paris Hilton, he wasn't sure he could get back into the game. He was content being single, it was just lately. Sure, he loved his occasional one nighters, but a part of him felt hollow. He and AJ would go out almost every night, just partying it up; living like rock stars. AJ could do that for the rest of his life, but Nick...he wasn't sure he wanted to do it anymore.

He dropped his head again and glanced up into the mirror, not even fully recognizing the man staring back at him. He needed to get out of this funk, but how? Usually he never felt so alone, not like this anyway. Maybe it had to do with his band mates and how they were slowly drifting apart. He just wasn't having fun anymore; he felt like he was slowly suffocating and he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to put up with the charade. He didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to act happy when he wasn't.

The door then opened and he glimpsed in the mirror to see Brian Littrell's reflection. He let out a silent groan as he knew Kevin had sent him to seek him out.

"There you are," said his gentle voice.

"Yeah what?!" He snapped as he could feel the frustration get the best of him, "Can't a guy take a leak without being followed?"

Brian was taken aback from his tone, "Dude, what's up your ass?"

He sighed knowing it wasn't his fault. It was Kevin he was angry with and he was taking it out on him. He just wished everyone would leave him alone. He hated being bothered when he felt like this. Tolerating those girls was really starting to get to him. He knew they were excited to see him and yeah that made him feel great, but today he had no patience. He wished they would just relax and stop with the damn screaming.