Sacrifices (A Niam Horayne Love Story)

Chapter 7 : I Donʻt Know What I Think Anymore

Hey guys! So for some reason the textbox isnʻt loading for me on WattyPad so Iʻm going to have to try and write this next chapter out on Word and upload the file Hopefully it works.

BUT HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL I HAVE REACHED 500 VIEWS! #INDESCRIBABLEEMOTION.

I think itʻs been quite a while since I updated. School is going to start up in about a week for me soo, yeah. HECTIC HECTIC.

Hope yalls enjoy though!!

BTW MY TWITTER HAS CHANGED I AM NOW @LoveDeNiallxx and @The_Fine_Devine É I HAVE BEEN HAVING JOSHY FEELS OK?!?

I was told the other day that I could be a female version of Harry Styles because I have naturally curly brown hair and green eyes. But like, NO JUST NO because heʻs HARRY FREAKING STYLES.

OK SORRY.

I present to you..

Le Chapter De Dapter

--Jigganaut out.

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Everything was blank. I felt like I was floating in perpetual darkness. I couldnʻt register anything, not sound, not smell, not even a feeling. I felt as if I could be floating on my back in a inky black water.

Is this what dying is like? An empty blank field of nothing but shadow? Have I died in surgery? Is that why Iʻm here?

I tried lifting up my arm but it was too heavy. As if someone had drained me of my blood and filled me with a dense liquid making me now 1,000 pounds heavy. But even at that seemingly frightening thought I was still calm.

Could you even be calm if youʻre dead? How could I be thinking if I were dead? Unless...

Wait, where the fuck was heaven?

Why is there no fucking food in the afterlife?

Am I even hungry? Can you be hungry when you?re dead? I mean, theres no logic to it anyway. What the hell would you need the nutrients for if youʻre already, you know, dead?

Slowly I felt the darkness begin to fade, brightening with shades of deep gray and soon, a blazing bright white. I winced at the shockingly painful luminescence this new dimension gave me. I shielded my eyes with my arm and felt something tug at my wrist.

So, maybe I wasnʻt dead...

I looked to where I felt the irritating pulling sensation and realized I had an I.V. needle stuck into my arm. I rubbed my eyes and groaned. Thatʻs right, I must have just came out of surgery.

Soon everything that had happened just prior to my surgery had begun to trickle back into my mind like a warm, slow creek. From the army of people in my hospital room al the way down to the last words that Liam was saying to me...

SHIT.

What was it that Liam had been trying to tell me before I was put under? He seemed really intent on getting what was on his mind out but I blacked out before I could catch the end of his sentence.

"Niall, I --"

Those were the last words I have heard for the past, what? 4 hours? And now they were beginning to nag me. That sentence could have been ended with anything.

"Niall I hope you donʻt die."

"Niall I will be here when you come out."

"Niall I ate all your Nandos."

"Niall I love--"

I shook that thought out of my head and furrowed my eyebrows. Where had that thought come from? Why would Liam tell me he loves me? He was straight, right? And so was I.

RIGHT?!?

I hard a soft knock at my door and looked to the opening an whoop-a-dee doo flipping pancake there was Liam. Speak of the devil. Orr, err, think I guess. 

He gave me a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his natural curls styled messily on top of his head. He had on a comfortable white tee and a pair of jeans on, his hands shoved in the pockets. This was the most groomed Iʻve seen him since my hospitalization.

"Hey, Liam. Come on in." I said, my voice rough from lack of use.

He strode comfortably in and sat on the chair right beside my bed. There were a few moments of silence before he said anything.

"So, Niall. How are you feeling?" he asked looking at me with concern, his big brown puppy dog eyes gazing at me. I smiled at him.

"Iʻm good. I feel a lot better actually, and you look better than the last time I saw you." I said trying to add humor into the conversation and even though I chuckled he only gave a small ghost of a smile and instantly the grim on my face dissipated.

"Umm, I wanted to talk to you about what I said before you were wheeled away." He said wringing his hands nervously and avoiding eye contact with me.

My heart fluttered in my chest and I didʻ?t really know why it did. I could sense a bit of anticipation, curiosity and hope in my mixed pool of emotions but the rest were unrecognizable for me. As if not even my own mind wanted me to really understand what I was feeling.

"What was it that you said? I dont really remember it all." I pushed on and I heard him clear his throat.

"So, Niall. I was telling you that well, I love you."

BAM. That was it. Well holy fucking perplexion of life. His eyes flickered up to meet mines and I was only able to stare wide eyed at him with my mouth hanging open like a doofus.

How did I feel about that? Did I love him too? Since when was he gay? Was I even gay? Well, Liam is a handsome guy but-- NO I wasnt gay, right? Was it possible to be gay for only one person? WHY WAS I ASKING MYSELF SO MUCH QUESTIONS THAT I DONʻT HAVE THE ANSWERS FOR?

"Niall, I understand if you dont reciprocate the feelings. I just, I felt like they should be let out. Niall, please dont feel bad about it if you dont love me too. Iʻll understand I just really hope you dont despise me now. Im still the same person. Still the same old Liam." He offered me his trademark sweet Liam smile that warmed my heart.

I shook my head. "No, no Liam I dont... I couldnt ever despise you." I said and bit my lip.

How the fuck did I feel about Liam? Liam was always there for me since we became a group. We were best mates and got on really well from the start. We told eachother everything, cared for eachother, worried about eachother.

And then it clicked.

"Liam, its just that... I think that. Well, I think that I love you too."

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AAAND BOOMSHAKALAKA.

It?s 5:30 am. I hope you really appreciate this because holy flack I will be hating this in the morning.

SOOO, Comment and vote please? I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU GUYS WOULD LIKE A SEQUEL?

I have a feeling that this fic will end within the next 4-5 chapters. Give or take.

AFTER THIS I?M WRITING A JOSHY FIC<3 (not boyxboy tho D:)

LOOK AT THE VIDEO ON THE SIDE THESE GUYS ARE FUCKING AWESOME OK?! & From New Zealand... Umm, no connection to the story...

Kk I really should fucking sleep. WHOOPS SEE YEAH IM GONNA GO NOW.<333